Bill Maher - The Haves & The Been-Hads

Great "New Rule" finale by Bill Maher on November 2nd's broadcast. Here's a snip:

MAHER: ...the days when a shop girl in the big city could support herself working a full 40-hour week, or a family of four could live off a single blue-collar breadwinner, are as bygone a fantasy as malt shops or heterosexual wizards. If you’re living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you’re not being kept down by the rich. You’re being kept down by you.

In America, it’s not the haves and have-nots. It’s the haves and the been-hads. If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won’t give you health care over someone you will, you need to have your head examined. Except you can’t afford to have your head examined.

Please remember that if you hear the new radio ad from Rudy Giuliani, who says his chances of surviving prostate cancer in America were 82%, whereas, in England, under “socialized medicine,” his chances would have been 44%. Numbers that, like the cancer, were pulled directly out of Rudy’s ass.

Now, I know socialized medicine sounds like Stalin himself is going to come over to your house and perform a forced sterilization. But, really all it is, is universal health care. Which means everybody – not just the rich – gets to see a doctor when their erection lasts longer than 72 hours.

And I just hope that one day, ten or fifteen years from now, one of Rush Limbaugh’s “Ditto Heads” is going to wake up in his cell in debtors’ prison – because that’s where President Giuliani throws you when you can’t pay your Visa bill – and he’ll turn on the Fox Financial Channel, and as he watches some CEO gloat over his $200 million in stock options, he’s going to suddenly realize that he’s been had. And on that day, that man will begin the great middle class uprising of the 21st century.

Oh, no, he’ll probably just switch over to “Pimp My Truck.”