Well Whaddaya Know!

Obama's Long Form Birth Certificate Revealed!

Everyone has a breaking point, and President Obama finally reached his, when it came to the Birther bullshit anyway.

Responding to critics' relentless claims, President Barack Obama on Wednesday produced a detailed Hawaii birth certificate in an extraordinary attempt to bury the issue of where he was born and confirm his legitimacy to hold office. He declared, "We do not have time for this kind of silliness.

..."I am confident that the American people and America's political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems. We always have. But we're not going to be able to do it if we are distracted."

..."This issue has been going on for two, two and a half years now. I think it started during the campaign," Obama said. "I have watched with bemusement, I've been puzzled at the degree at which this thing just kept on going."

"We're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers," the president said.

And yes, you can be sure that the "carnival barker" dig was aimed at Donald Trump.

Now we can all sit back with confidence and know that the "Birther conspiracy" story will die off in favor of the "Obama Long Form Birth Certificate is a Forgery" stories which have already surfaced, complete with a fully complicit mainstream media.

And ultimately, while I understand the premise of the White House's decision to release a long form birth certificate, they had to know that this story would only stoke the flames in the forgery department. So really, how have they tamped down the distraction?

Oh, and a big "FUCK YOU" to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Fuckwadistan) who was surprised that the White House took this route and shocked that they would actually try to appease the fucking crazies in his own goddamned party after three years of loony bin talk. Please point to the story where Cantor said Trump was being a douche with the birther nonsense.

You can add Trump and Sarah Palin to the "Fuck You" list as well; Trump for taking credit after race-baiting and dog-whistling for what felt like months and Palin for tweeting that the media not be distracted with this story and concentrate on Ben Bernanke's news conference today, when she had no problem stirring the drink with the Trump straw.

Oh, and how can I forget Weeper of the House John Boehner for calling this a "long settle issue"? Wish he had said something even remotely similar when asked about it on Meet The Press. While he believes Obama, it "wasn't his job" to call out the birther fruitcakes in his own party. That's leadership, huh?

So now we can all finally enjoy Donald "Take The Oil" Trump talk about important things like foreign policy and get some laughs out of it in the process.





ADDING... And so it begins, starting with World Nut Daily's Joseph "70's Porn Mustache" Farah.