Rick Perry Has Blown a Gasket

Remember a couple of months ago when the next Coming for the Republican Party was Texas Governor Rick Perry? Remember when he was leading in the polls when compared to other GOP primary nominees before he ever entered the race? There was only one little hurdle - and the basic flaw in the future President Perry plan: he had to open his mouth.

The more I listened to Rick Perry in the two debates that I could stomach (and watching highlights from the rest) the more he reminded me of George W. Bush, but without the eloquence. And the more he spoke, the more he sank in the polls. And now in a desperate attempt to rebound from a dismal 6% approval in the latest CBS/New York Times poll of GOP presidential hopefuls, he has decided to pull the Birther card.

After having dinner with The Birther King Donald Trump, Rick Perry decided that it was either A) advantageous for him to jump on the Birther bandwagon to garner some fringe freak support, or B) he really believes the tinfoil hat notion that President Obama is illegitimate because he's not an American born citizen but instead, a Kenyan born, secret Muslim Manchurian candidate.

Now, Perry may be dumb as a rock with 'Niggerhead' scrawled on it, but he ain't stupid, and he proved it while admitting to journalist John Harwood that all this birther talk is really just a distraction:

“I’m really not worried about the president’s birth certificate. It’s fun to poke at him a little bit, say, 'Hey, let’s see your grades and your birth certificate.'”

So he's pretty much laying it out that he knows the Birther thing is all bullshit, yet he stops short of admitting it's a load of crap for political expediency. But that's not all Perry's doing to remove the cement shoes from his feet after jumping into the GOP primary pool. Seeing the meteoric rise of fellow charlatan Herman Cain* the more he repeats his 999 Plan, Perry has decided to announce a tax reform plan of his own. A flat tax. But just one look at Perry's plan and anyone can tell it makes absolutely no sense.

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Perhaps if Perry repeated his plan as the "Flat, Flat, Flat Plan" it would catch on like Cain's.  And it would be easy for him to remember. The tax is flat. Like the earth if flat. And his head is flat.

Martin Bashir puts things in perspective:

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Sorry, Rick. The Birther ship sailed six months ago with the Donald Trump flameout. You should have been paying attention instead of eating popcorn while sitting in the front row of your latest Texas execution.
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*This bears repeating: "The meteoric rise" of Herman. Fucking. Cain. Republican voters hate Mitt Romney so much, they'd prefer to live in Bizarro World with Herman Cain than actually have a legitimate shot at having a nominee who might give President Obama a little trouble.