Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Suing To Continue Being A Deadbeat

I don't know if the Tea Party bargained for having this moron be the face of their movement.

Republican Illinois Rep. Joe Walsh loves to show his face on the talking head shows and shake his fist in the direction of President Obama, go as far as calling the President a liar and refusing to attend joint sessions of Congress, something that I believe elected officials are payed to do. No, it's not mandatory but you get my drift.

Well, soon after Walsh decided to put his face front and center on all the cable news channels and call for fiscal responsibility, it was revealed that he was a deadbeat dad, owing over $100,000 in back child support. So much for fiscal responsibility.

When faced with an embarrassing situation as an elected official, a normal person would most likely settle the issue and move on. But not Tea Party Joe. He's doubling down.

Six days after the Sun-Times reported that Rep. Joe Walsh allegedly owes more than $100,000 in child support for three of his children, the McHenry Republican filed a motion seeking sanctions against his ex-wife.

Walsh’s attorneys sought the sanctions against Laura Walsh because they said she had not complied with their request in February to provide them voluminous documentation of her employment and salary records at pharmaceuticals manufacturer Eli Lilly as well as bank statements, tax returns and expense reports.

At that time, Joe Walsh’s attorneys had scheduled an April interview with Laura Walsh and said they needed the extensive documentation to prepare for it.

Laura Walsh’s attorney, Jack Coladarci, called that request “harassment” and said the issue was why Joe Walsh was not paying $117,000 of back child support and interest. Laura Walsh had no corresponding obligation to pay Joe Walsh any support, and so the extensive requests for documents were inappropriate, Coladarci said.

Walsh has set the bar for the definition of "Douchebag." Tea Partiers must be so proud of their choice.

Will Cantor Look for Cuts Elsewhere to Pay for His District Disaster?

Hey, remember what Eric Cantor said about federal disaster relief funds after Joplin, Missouri was practically destroyed by a tornado? Let me refresh your memory:

The No. 2 House Republican said that if Congress doles out additional money to assist in the aftermath of natural disasters across the country, the spending may need to be offset.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) said “if there is support for a supplemental, it would be accompanied by support for having pay-fors to that supplemental."

That was way, way long ago... too far for the MSM to possibly remember. Three whole months ago.
Well, now that the epicenter of the east coast earthquake landed smack dab in the middle of his district in Mineral, Virginia, are we going to see him look for "pay-fors" to help offset the cost of federal relief?

[Cantor] said that a federal process is underway to assess the damage and address residents and businesses that may not have earthquake insurance.

Sorry, Sparky. Why should we shell out federal money to help people that weren't smart enough to carry earthquake insurance while living over a fault line? Oh yeah, that's right. Because we're fucking human beings who look out for our fellow man. And I'm completely fine with that. But why the hell does Cantor insist on Tea Party populist bullshit like this?

...Eric Cantor (R-VA) will extend his requirement that federal disaster relief be paid for by cutting spending elsewhere in the budget to Hurricane Irene.

“We aren’t going to speculate on damage before it happens, period,” his spokesperson Laena Fallon emails. “But, as you know, Eric has consistently said that additional funds for federal disaster relief ought to be offset with spending cuts.”

I called him a punk then and I'm calling him a punk now. The people of VA-7 must be so happy they voted for this douchebag to look out for their best interests, huh?

An Oldie But A Goodie

Product placement is everything.

Douchebag of the Week: Thomas Mitchell

The Editor of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Thomas "Look at my awesome cowboy hat and my sweet Wyatt Earp moustache" Mitchell wrote a swell column about voting bias. Not, white voters overwhelmingly voting for white candidates or blacks voters voting for black candidates, or even Tea Party voters voting for nutball candidates. No, Mitchell thinks that women are "fickle and biased" towards Democratic candidates and therefore it's time to repeal the 19th Amendment. You know, the one that gave women the right to vote.

How does he come to this stellar conclusion?

Just look at the poll results in today’s newspaper.

Men favored the attractive former beauty queen Sue Lowden over the graying Harry Reid by 22 points, while women shunned their gender mate, choosing Reid by a 2-point margin. Which proves women favor Democrats.

Not convinced? Well let’s back it up a week and look at the poll results published this past Sunday.

In a head-to-head match among Reid, Lowden and Tea Party pretender Scott Ashjian, the men favored Lowden by 19 points over Reid and women picked Reid by a 3-point margin. Ashjian was in single digits.

But change the Republican option from Lowden to former basketball star Danny Tarkanian and it is a different tale. Men still favored the Republican by 16 points and doubled their support by Ashjian to 15 points. Women, on the other hand, chose Reid by 16 points, proving they’d rather vote for a woman than a male Republican.

Hoo-hoo! Get it? Reid's a woman!

Now let me add that if this is supposed to be satirical, as some of the commenters in his editorial have suggested, I didn't get it. At. All.

No, I just happen to think that Thomas Mitchell is a typical misogynist, Republican prick who doesn't understand why illogical, fickle, emotional women are trusted with the right to vote because they obviously aren't voting for Party of No douchebags. Therefore they must not have any clue about the issues.

Thomas Mitchell: Douchebag of the Week!

Douchebag of the Week: Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerney

McInerney: "If you are an 18-28 year old Muslim man, then you should be strip searched. And if we don't do that, there's a very high probability we're gonna lose an airliner."

Words escape me. McInerney goes on to say that this isn't racial profiling. And he right. It's religious profiling. Why don't we just have all Muslims wear a crescent and star patch on their lapels? That way we know who we're dealing with. After all, it worked for the Nazis.

Plus, there's no way we'd accidentally make a Israeli strip search because he looks Middle Eastern, right? Or an Italian. Or a dark skinned, native born African who may happen to be Christian. That wouldn't happen in this scenario, would it?

Air Force Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerney (Retired... thankfully): Douchebag of the Week.

(H/T Cesca)

Healthcare Killers

If years from now, you're wondering what went wrong, remember this.

Two key senators criticized the most recent healthcare compromise Sunday, saying the policies replacing the public option are still unacceptable. Sens. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) and Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) both said a Medicare “buy-in” option for those aged 55-64 was a deal breaker.

“I’m concerned that it’s the forerunner of single payer, the ultimate single-payer plan, maybe even more directly than the public option,” Nelson said on CBS’s “Face the Nation.”

Lieberman said Democrats should stop looking for a public option “compromise” and simply scrap the idea altogether.

Yeah, yeah, I know, but Obama this, Obama that. Someone explain me how threatening these shameless motherfuckers with stripping them of their chairmanships would have done any good if they have the fucking balls to go on the Sunday talk shows and basically go on the record saying that anything even remotely close to helping citizens with any form of a public option is a deal breaker.

And Lieberman takes offense at being called the "Senator from Aetna"?! FUCK YOU!!!

Douche Quote of the Week

Rush Limbaugh: I'm also told that the blog containing the passage on Obama's thesis is a satire blog. So it's one of these sites like ScrappleFace or The Onion or some such thing. So I shout from the mountaintops: "It was satire!" But we know he thinks it. Good comedy, to be comedy, must contain an element of truth, and we know how he feels about distribution of wealth. He's mad at the courts for not going far enough on it. So we stand by the fabricated quote because we know Obama thinks it anyway. That's how it works in the media today.

Douchebag of the Week: Richard Heene

Man, oh man! This has been some week for the Balloon Boy and his camera hogging, questionnaire box having, morning show vomit inducing, attention whoring parents.

Didn't it strike anyone a bit strange that the first thing a father would do, whose boy who has supposedly floated out into space in a homemade weather balloon no less, is to call the local television news before dialing 911? Couldn't any of our intrepid media, with all the "experts" at their disposal have deduced the impossibility of the physics involved in the size of the balloon and the weight of an average six-year old, with or without the vomit? Apparently, the only experts CNN could find were the ones that really knew how to work that fancy-schmancy telestrator, increasing and decreasing the the size of a balloon graphic at the touch of a couple of index fingers.

And how about Wolf Blitzer, who could've had the scoop, an exclusive interview when a kid named Falcon implicated his mom and dad in a hoax for publicity by honestly answering why he didn't come out when they called him. "You guys said we did this for the show." But good ol' Wolfy, probably not paying attention to the answer because he was too busy composing the next question in his pea-brain, completely missed it.

Three days after the world watched a giant balloon fly through the air as a tearful family expressed fears that their 6-year-old boy could be inside, authorities announced what millions already suspected: The whole thing was staged.

Good job, Wolf.

On Sunday, Alderden called the incident a "hoax," adding that investigators believe the evidence indicates that "it was a publicity stunt" by the family in hopes of "better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future."

The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met in a Hollywood acting school and "put on a very good show for us," Alderden said. Authorities know there was "a conspiracy" between them, he added.

The sheriff's announcement included an admission that authorities misled the media on Friday when they said they still believed it was not a hoax. After Falcon's remark on CNN Thursday night, "it became very clear to us at that point that they were lying," Alderden said.

The "nonverbal responses" and "verbal cues" from the children at that moment made it clear, Alderden said.

But in order to get to the truth, "it was very important during this time that they maintained their trust with us." So investigators misled the media while they carried out their "game plan" of gathering the truth.

And they would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Really, Mayumi Heene should also get honorable mention for going along with the shenanigans and having no problem involving the children, but what put it over the top was the big announcement that Richard Heene had, which amounted to a cardboard box that reporters could place questions in. I suppose he's better at scripts than improvisation.

Douchebag of the Week: Richard "Balloon Boy Hoax" Heene.

Schoolchildren Singing Songs to President...Nixon

Posted by Fraulein

As a follow-up to Carl's post about this week's Douchebag, Michelle Malkin, and her efforts to alert the nation to the dangers of children singing songs about elected officials, I refer you to Bob Cesca's Awesome Blog, where you can view video of kids singing the following to then-President Richard Nixon:

We love you president
Oh yes we do
We love you president
And we'll be true

I'm sure we can expect Malkin's apology any time now. Right?

Douchebag of the Week: Rush Limbaugh

When choosing the weekly douchebag, I try to make it a point to avoid the normal douchebags, otherwise it would be way too easy. I stay away from the Three Stooges: Rush, Glenn and Sean, because if I paid attention to even one tenth of the horseshit that comes out of their mouths I would never have the need to pick anyone else. But I couldn't bypass this week's little nugget of wisdom from the leader of the Republican party; or should I say, dingleberry of wisdom?

Referring to an incident in which a white student was beaten by black students on a bus, Limbaugh said: “I think the guy’s wrong. I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and stuff. This is Obama’s America.”

This comment was made after local police said the attack was probably not racially motivated. But that didn't stop Limbaugh from pushing the meme. For anyone who still believes that racism isn't alive and well in America because we elected a black President, just think of this statement and the 20 million listeners who sit through this incredibly vile crap for three hours a day.

But he doesn't stop there. Why stop when you're on a roll? To top it off, Limbaugh decides to compare racism to homosexuality.

“If homosexuality being inborn is what makes it acceptable, why does racism being inborn not make racism acceptable?” the talk show host asked. “I’m sorry — I mean, this is the way my mind works. But apparently now we don’t choose racism, we just are racists. We are born that way. We don’t choose it. So shouldn’t it be acceptable, excuse — this is according to the way the left thinks about things.”

Just because your Oxycontin riddled mind works that way doesn't make it true, Rush. We are not inherently racist. We are taught to hate. We are taught to fear the "other." We are taught that the "other" is lesser.

The left doesn't assume that opposition to Obama automatically labels one a racist. When the perpetrators of racism decide to leave their Obama as witch doctor signs at home, when they decide to stop viewing him as a non-citizen and therefore an illegitimate Commander in Chief because of his "otherness," when they start arguing the policy points they disagree with instead of calling him a "lyin' African," then maybe we won't assume those making the racist statements are racist.

But so long as they take your lead, Rush, so long as they agree with segregation, so long as they accept your infantile premise in equating homosexuality and inherent racism, they will continue to circle the drain into GOP irrelevance.

Rush "We Need Segregated Buses" Limbaugh: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Joe "You Lie!" Wilson

It's a no-brainer this week. The gentleman from the state of South Carolina was anything but gentlemanly in his outburst during President Obama's joint session of Congress this past Wednesday, calling the President a liar in his ignorant refusal to believe that HR3200, the health care bill being brought up in the House would not cover illegal aliens.

Of course, there is no provision in the bill that states they will be covered. In fact, it specifically states that non-citizens will not be covered. But why would that stop a Birther like Wilson from lying about it?

Not only was his douchebaggery evident in his dirty diaper tantrum, but it was plain for all to see in the subsequent apology, which he then said was requested by GOP leadership and then just deciding to shake his tin cup for donations after he realized he's the new wingnut darling, while continuing to lie about health care coverage for illegal aliens.



Joe "YOU LIE!" Wilson: Douchebag of the Week.

30 Seconds of Morning Joe in 5 Easy Steps

Step One: Turn on TV and tune in to MSNBC.

Step Two: Wait for Joe Scarborough to say something stupid (it doesn't take long).

Step Three: Hear Scarborough say, in reaction to Rep. Joe "You Lie!" Wilson (R-SC), "It was stupid, but he's apologized for it... strange that he would apologize to Rahm... Maybe he should have apologized to Axelrod or Valerie Jarrett."

Step Four: Yell at the TV machine, "How about apologizing to the PRESIDENT, instead of writing a weaselly note like a fucking third grader, you DOUCHEBAG!" Your household pet might scurry away in the process as mine did.

Step Five: Turn off TV before you burst a blood vessel.

Nothing like a little Morning Joke™ to get your blood flowing in the morning.

Douchebag of the Week: Rep. Lynn Jenkins

A freshman Republican congresswoman apologized Thursday for telling a gathering in her district that the GOP was still searching for a "great white hope" to stop President Barack Obama's political agenda.

You know what? I'm going to give Kansas Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R- Whiteyville) the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't believe Jenkins seriously meant that phrase in any type of racial connotation. But she's still a douchebag for being stupid enough not to understand its meaning or know its origin. Sort of like "tar baby."

Talk about making a splash in your first year as an elected official in Congress!

Rep. Lynn Jenkins (GO KANSAS!): Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Michelle Malkin

Once I found out she was actually going appear on This Week with George Stephanopolous, I knew it was a short matter of time before she would say something asinine.

Malkin thinks extending unemployment benefits of $300 per week extends joblessness because people would rather sit around and collect that easy money than look for a job and then just before the benefits expire, run right out and get a job in an environment where the national unemployment rate is teetering at 10% and some state numbers are as high as 15%-20%. Great job, Malkin.

Malkin: If you put enough government cheese in front of people they are just going to keep eating it and you're just kicking the can down the road and just to hammer this point about the unemployment benefits extension again it was Larry Katz, who's a chief labor economist under the Clinton labor department who came out with a study and there are a lot of these economists who say this that if you keep extending these "temporary" unemployment benefits you're just going to extend joblessness even more.

Michelle "Government Cheese" Malkin: Douchebag of the Week

(H/T C&L)

Stupidity Knows No Bounds

On Wednesday, I awarded Rep. Steve King (R- Doucheland) my Douchebag of the Week honors, something I normally reserve for a Sunday afternoon. Soon thereafter, Brian Kilmeade made his wonderfully racist comment on Fox and Friends which Fraulein brought to our attention.

For a minute, I thought I may have been too hasty in not waiting until the end of the week to rip King. But never let it be said that King disappoints. It only took 24 hours to top himself.

"[O]f the 645,000 Africans that were brought here to be forcibly put into slavery in the United States, there were over 600,000 people that gave their lives in the Civil War to put an end to slavery. And I don't see the monument to that in the Congressional Visitor Center, and I think it's important that we have a balanced depiction of history."

Not only is King a racist douche, but he's a moronic one as well. "... there were over 600,000 people that gave their lives in the Civil War to put an end to slavery." Uh, Rep. King? Wasn't that the TOTAL amount of casualties for BOTH sides? If so, then, uh... who fought against those who wanted "to put an end to slavery"?

(H/T Bob Cesca)

Runner-Up Douchebag of the Week: Brian Kilmeade

Posted by Fraulein

I doubt this guy is competent to make himself a bowl of cereal in the morning. And yet here he sits, "screeching," as Gawker notes, on "Fox and Friends." He's concerned that Americans have a tendency to "marry other species." What the fuck is Brian Kilmeade talking about, you ask? Has there been some epidemic of matrimonial unions between people and earthworms? Oh no. He's talking about interracial marriage.

Somebody put this douchebag out of our collective misery, please.

Douchebag of the Week: Rep. Steve King

There are many things that expose Iowa Congressman Steve King's douchebaggery pretty much every time he opens his mouth. There's the time he called the Congressional Black and Hispanic Caucuses "separatist groups." Or when he went on a "Socialist" scare rant calling the Progressives in the House "socialists." Or when he claimed that Al-Qaeda would be "dancing in the streets" if Obama won the presidential election.

But this time, King really takes the cake.

That the United States Capitol, and specifically the Statue of Freedom that rests above it, was built by slave labor has long been a source of shame. The House sought to redress that grievance on Tuesday evening, however slightly, with a resolution acknowledging the role slaves played in the construction.

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) isn't having it.

The resolution passed 399-1, with King voting against.

The purpose of the resolution, according to its text, is to direct "the Architect of the Capitol to place a marker in Emancipation Hall in the Capitol Visitor Center which acknowledges the role that slave labor played in the construction of the United States Capitol."

The lone Congressman who decided that even this slight acknowledgement wasn't good enough to garner his vote was our good Christian, Rep. Steve King, who not too long ago thought a resolution to recognize "the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world" was worthy of Congressional votes. But a nod of recognition to the slaves who built our Capitol building? Not so much.

Iowa Rep. Steve King (R as in "Ridiculous"): Douchebag of the Week.

Douche Quote of the Day

Talk about your right wing lunacy!

Gawker:

Andrew Breitbart: [Holocaust Museum shooter] James von Brunn was a "multiculturalist just like the black studies and the lesbian studies majors on college campuses."

Breitbart is angry that anyone would call a neo-Nazi a "right-wing extremist."

Here's a sample:

"It's such a fucking slander on people like me. This guy's political philosophy is more akin to the drivel that you hear on a college campuses that delineates us by group and not by individuality....
It's deeply offensive that you would use this for political gain."

What a fucking jokester this douchebag is. But please go to Gawker and listen to the whole seething, angry voicemail. How dare someone call Von Brunn a right wing extremist! Apparently it's an insult to real right wing extremisits like Breitbart.

Douche Quote of the Day, Part 3

"We have made progress in civil rights, but now with this? How do you get promoted in a Barack Obama administration? By hating white people, or even saying you do, or that their not good, or whatever. Make white people the new oppressed minority and they are going right along with it, because their shutting up. They’re moving to the back of the bus. They’re saying I can’t use that drinking fountain, okay. I can’t use that restroom, okay. That’s the modern day Republican Party, the equivalent of the Old South, the new oppressed minority.”

- Rush Limbaugh, May 29, 2009

His very next line was, "Whatever happened to the content of one's character as the basis of judging people?" I don't know, Rush. Why don't you ask the white hating Obama administration? This quote, by the way, was just about a minute before the David Duke comparison.

Un. Hinged.

Douche Quote of the Day, Part 2

Posted by Fraulein

Watergate crook and all-around psycho G. Gordon Liddy, on his radio show yesterday, discussing Sotomayor:

Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.

Shouldn't this termite be off rotting in jail somewhere instead of poisoning the airwaves with this garbage?