Douchebag of the Week: Thomas Mitchell

The Editor of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Thomas "Look at my awesome cowboy hat and my sweet Wyatt Earp moustache" Mitchell wrote a swell column about voting bias. Not, white voters overwhelmingly voting for white candidates or blacks voters voting for black candidates, or even Tea Party voters voting for nutball candidates. No, Mitchell thinks that women are "fickle and biased" towards Democratic candidates and therefore it's time to repeal the 19th Amendment. You know, the one that gave women the right to vote.

How does he come to this stellar conclusion?

Just look at the poll results in today’s newspaper.

Men favored the attractive former beauty queen Sue Lowden over the graying Harry Reid by 22 points, while women shunned their gender mate, choosing Reid by a 2-point margin. Which proves women favor Democrats.

Not convinced? Well let’s back it up a week and look at the poll results published this past Sunday.

In a head-to-head match among Reid, Lowden and Tea Party pretender Scott Ashjian, the men favored Lowden by 19 points over Reid and women picked Reid by a 3-point margin. Ashjian was in single digits.

But change the Republican option from Lowden to former basketball star Danny Tarkanian and it is a different tale. Men still favored the Republican by 16 points and doubled their support by Ashjian to 15 points. Women, on the other hand, chose Reid by 16 points, proving they’d rather vote for a woman than a male Republican.

Hoo-hoo! Get it? Reid's a woman!

Now let me add that if this is supposed to be satirical, as some of the commenters in his editorial have suggested, I didn't get it. At. All.

No, I just happen to think that Thomas Mitchell is a typical misogynist, Republican prick who doesn't understand why illogical, fickle, emotional women are trusted with the right to vote because they obviously aren't voting for Party of No douchebags. Therefore they must not have any clue about the issues.

Thomas Mitchell: Douchebag of the Week!

Douchebag of the Week: Ryan Sorba

Is this the kind of speaker with which CPAC wants to be associated? Giving credit to the crowd, they booed California Young Americans for Freedom representative Ryan Sorba off the stage after he went off on a tangent and condemned CPAC for inviting GOProud, a gay conservative group to the convention.



So much for the party of inclusion according to Sorba. Why any member of the gay community would associate him/herself with an anti-gay political party is beyond me, but judging by the current state of the Republican party and the collective intelligence of their leaders, I'm really not surprised.

Ryan Sorba: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerney

McInerney: "If you are an 18-28 year old Muslim man, then you should be strip searched. And if we don't do that, there's a very high probability we're gonna lose an airliner."

Words escape me. McInerney goes on to say that this isn't racial profiling. And he right. It's religious profiling. Why don't we just have all Muslims wear a crescent and star patch on their lapels? That way we know who we're dealing with. After all, it worked for the Nazis.

Plus, there's no way we'd accidentally make a Israeli strip search because he looks Middle Eastern, right? Or an Italian. Or a dark skinned, native born African who may happen to be Christian. That wouldn't happen in this scenario, would it?

Air Force Lt. Gen. Thomas McInerney (Retired... thankfully): Douchebag of the Week.

(H/T Cesca)

Douchebag of the Week: Richard Heene

Man, oh man! This has been some week for the Balloon Boy and his camera hogging, questionnaire box having, morning show vomit inducing, attention whoring parents.

Didn't it strike anyone a bit strange that the first thing a father would do, whose boy who has supposedly floated out into space in a homemade weather balloon no less, is to call the local television news before dialing 911? Couldn't any of our intrepid media, with all the "experts" at their disposal have deduced the impossibility of the physics involved in the size of the balloon and the weight of an average six-year old, with or without the vomit? Apparently, the only experts CNN could find were the ones that really knew how to work that fancy-schmancy telestrator, increasing and decreasing the the size of a balloon graphic at the touch of a couple of index fingers.

And how about Wolf Blitzer, who could've had the scoop, an exclusive interview when a kid named Falcon implicated his mom and dad in a hoax for publicity by honestly answering why he didn't come out when they called him. "You guys said we did this for the show." But good ol' Wolfy, probably not paying attention to the answer because he was too busy composing the next question in his pea-brain, completely missed it.

Three days after the world watched a giant balloon fly through the air as a tearful family expressed fears that their 6-year-old boy could be inside, authorities announced what millions already suspected: The whole thing was staged.

Good job, Wolf.

On Sunday, Alderden called the incident a "hoax," adding that investigators believe the evidence indicates that "it was a publicity stunt" by the family in hopes of "better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future."

The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met in a Hollywood acting school and "put on a very good show for us," Alderden said. Authorities know there was "a conspiracy" between them, he added.

The sheriff's announcement included an admission that authorities misled the media on Friday when they said they still believed it was not a hoax. After Falcon's remark on CNN Thursday night, "it became very clear to us at that point that they were lying," Alderden said.

The "nonverbal responses" and "verbal cues" from the children at that moment made it clear, Alderden said.

But in order to get to the truth, "it was very important during this time that they maintained their trust with us." So investigators misled the media while they carried out their "game plan" of gathering the truth.

And they would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Really, Mayumi Heene should also get honorable mention for going along with the shenanigans and having no problem involving the children, but what put it over the top was the big announcement that Richard Heene had, which amounted to a cardboard box that reporters could place questions in. I suppose he's better at scripts than improvisation.

Douchebag of the Week: Richard "Balloon Boy Hoax" Heene.

Douchebag of the Week: Michelle Malkin

This week brought us another non story of children in a school singing a song during President's Week and Black History Month, (yes, back in February) as more wingnut proof of children getting "indoctrinated" to all things Obama. The faux outrage was palpable, but leave it to Michelle "WWII Japanese Internment Was a Good Thing" Malkin to go over the top once again.

It seems that this is becoming a forte for Malkin, who I suppose is not afraid of one certain demographic to malign and attack. Those most vulnerable among us: children. First she posted some college students' phone numbers who were protesting military recruitment at their campus causing them to get death threats. Then she was quick to hunt down Graeme Frost, the 12-year old boy who's struggling family was used as an example in favor of S-CHIP. Yeah, Malkin stalked them at their house and gave us distorted, detailed information of their "lavish" lifestyle, causing wingnuts across the land to fling their poo.

And now Malkin is in a lather over the evil indoctrination of second graders and their brainwashing, sing songs hailing President Obama. She went so far as to do some handy dandy investigative work and name the principal and the school responsible for the brain melting, and guess what? Yep. Death threats. Looks like Malkin's audience actually has a skill.

"The tension at B. Bernice Young Elementary School escalated to such a degree Thursday that the school was placed temporarily on lockdown after its principal received death threats over a YouTube video that showed nearly 20 children being taught songs lauding the president, though back-to-school night events continuing as planned Thursday night at the school."

That would never happen if kids were singing the praises of President Bush, right? And if that were the case, Michelle Malkin would be all over it like stink on shit, right? ...Right?

Actually, no.

"...back in 2006 children from Gulf Coast states serenaded First Lady Laura Bush with a song praising the President, Congress, and Federal Emergency Management Agency for their response to -- of all things -- Hurricane Katrina. The lyrics were as follow:

Our country's stood beside us
People have sent us aid.
Katrina could not stop us,
our hopes will never fade.
Congress, Bush and FEMA
People across our land
Together have come to rebuild us
and we join them hand-in-hand!"

A song about FEMA and Hurricane Fucking Katrina?! That's pretty ballsy. I guess Michelle missed that one. After all, it's not like it was widespread like some movie.

(Via Cesca)


Great job, Malkin. Once again you display your idiocy with such expertise.

Oh, one other thing. About that internment thing? Does Malkin not look in the mirror and realize that she probably would have been swept up in the racial profiling that she defends during World War II? Sure, she's of Filipino descent, but they all look the same, right Michelle?

Michelle "The Child Hunter" Malkin: Douchebag of the Week.


Here's a more impartial take on the story. You form your own opinion.

Douchebag of the Week: Rush Limbaugh

When choosing the weekly douchebag, I try to make it a point to avoid the normal douchebags, otherwise it would be way too easy. I stay away from the Three Stooges: Rush, Glenn and Sean, because if I paid attention to even one tenth of the horseshit that comes out of their mouths I would never have the need to pick anyone else. But I couldn't bypass this week's little nugget of wisdom from the leader of the Republican party; or should I say, dingleberry of wisdom?

Referring to an incident in which a white student was beaten by black students on a bus, Limbaugh said: “I think the guy’s wrong. I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and stuff. This is Obama’s America.”

This comment was made after local police said the attack was probably not racially motivated. But that didn't stop Limbaugh from pushing the meme. For anyone who still believes that racism isn't alive and well in America because we elected a black President, just think of this statement and the 20 million listeners who sit through this incredibly vile crap for three hours a day.

But he doesn't stop there. Why stop when you're on a roll? To top it off, Limbaugh decides to compare racism to homosexuality.

“If homosexuality being inborn is what makes it acceptable, why does racism being inborn not make racism acceptable?” the talk show host asked. “I’m sorry — I mean, this is the way my mind works. But apparently now we don’t choose racism, we just are racists. We are born that way. We don’t choose it. So shouldn’t it be acceptable, excuse — this is according to the way the left thinks about things.”

Just because your Oxycontin riddled mind works that way doesn't make it true, Rush. We are not inherently racist. We are taught to hate. We are taught to fear the "other." We are taught that the "other" is lesser.

The left doesn't assume that opposition to Obama automatically labels one a racist. When the perpetrators of racism decide to leave their Obama as witch doctor signs at home, when they decide to stop viewing him as a non-citizen and therefore an illegitimate Commander in Chief because of his "otherness," when they start arguing the policy points they disagree with instead of calling him a "lyin' African," then maybe we won't assume those making the racist statements are racist.

But so long as they take your lead, Rush, so long as they agree with segregation, so long as they accept your infantile premise in equating homosexuality and inherent racism, they will continue to circle the drain into GOP irrelevance.

Rush "We Need Segregated Buses" Limbaugh: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Joe "You Lie!" Wilson

It's a no-brainer this week. The gentleman from the state of South Carolina was anything but gentlemanly in his outburst during President Obama's joint session of Congress this past Wednesday, calling the President a liar in his ignorant refusal to believe that HR3200, the health care bill being brought up in the House would not cover illegal aliens.

Of course, there is no provision in the bill that states they will be covered. In fact, it specifically states that non-citizens will not be covered. But why would that stop a Birther like Wilson from lying about it?

Not only was his douchebaggery evident in his dirty diaper tantrum, but it was plain for all to see in the subsequent apology, which he then said was requested by GOP leadership and then just deciding to shake his tin cup for donations after he realized he's the new wingnut darling, while continuing to lie about health care coverage for illegal aliens.



Joe "YOU LIE!" Wilson: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Rep. Lynn Jenkins

A freshman Republican congresswoman apologized Thursday for telling a gathering in her district that the GOP was still searching for a "great white hope" to stop President Barack Obama's political agenda.

You know what? I'm going to give Kansas Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R- Whiteyville) the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't believe Jenkins seriously meant that phrase in any type of racial connotation. But she's still a douchebag for being stupid enough not to understand its meaning or know its origin. Sort of like "tar baby."

Talk about making a splash in your first year as an elected official in Congress!

Rep. Lynn Jenkins (GO KANSAS!): Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Michelle Malkin

Once I found out she was actually going appear on This Week with George Stephanopolous, I knew it was a short matter of time before she would say something asinine.

Malkin thinks extending unemployment benefits of $300 per week extends joblessness because people would rather sit around and collect that easy money than look for a job and then just before the benefits expire, run right out and get a job in an environment where the national unemployment rate is teetering at 10% and some state numbers are as high as 15%-20%. Great job, Malkin.

Malkin: If you put enough government cheese in front of people they are just going to keep eating it and you're just kicking the can down the road and just to hammer this point about the unemployment benefits extension again it was Larry Katz, who's a chief labor economist under the Clinton labor department who came out with a study and there are a lot of these economists who say this that if you keep extending these "temporary" unemployment benefits you're just going to extend joblessness even more.

Michelle "Government Cheese" Malkin: Douchebag of the Week

(H/T C&L)

Douchebag of the Week: Michael Karolchyk

Boy, was there a plethora to choose from for this week's DBOTW honors! But who to pick, oh the pressure.

I could choose Dick Cheney's evil spawn, Liz for picking at the birther movement scab with a quote that has nothing to do with the birth certificate conspiracy theory. "People are uncomfortable with a president who is reluctant to defend the nation overseas" said the succubus.

I could choose Lou Dobbs, who although stating he thinks President Obama is a US citizen, continued to stoke the crazy flames and posed that Obama could be "undocumented." Even after CNN president Jon Klein sent out a "shut the fuck up" e-mail calling the birther story dead, Dobbs continued to give it air time.

I could choose retired Army Lt. Col. Ralph Peters for suggesting that captured soldier Pfc. Bowe Bergdahl be killed by the Taliban if he had indeed deserted to save us all "a lot of legal hassles and legal bills." Way to support the troops, Ralph.

But my choice for Douchebag of the Week honors goes to Michael Karolchyk. In case you missed it, Karolchyk was a guest on Neil Cavuto's sorry excuse for a show sporting a "No Chubbies" t-shirt and calling new Surgeon General Dr. Regina Benjamin "obese," claiming she is 60 pounds overweight because she's "lazy" and really, shouldn't someone promoting health look the part? Maybe Karolchyk wanted the job?



Let's compare resumes, shall we?

Dr. Regina Benjamin: Founder and chief executive, Bayou La Batre Rural Health Clinic, Bayou La Batre, Ala., 1990-present; chairwoman, Federation of State Medical Boards, 2008-09; president, Medical Assn. of the State of Alabama, 2002-03; trustee, American Medical Assn., 1995-98; diplomate, American Board of Family Practice; fellow, American Academy of Family Physicians.¹

Named one of the “Nation’s 50 Future Leaders Age 40 and Under” by Time magazine.

Honored with the Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights in 1998.

According to the New York Times article highlighting her nomination and achievements, Benjamin made house calls after her clinic was flooded as a result of Hurricane Georges in 1998. Hurricane Katrina destroyed her clinic, and she mortgaged her own home to rebuild it. The clinic was again destroyed — this time by fire — and Benjamin appealed to donors across the country to raise enough funds to rebuild.²

Michael Karolchyk: CEO of Denver's Anti-Gym (NSFW), a fitness club with an emphasis on getting clients in shape for sex: "With live DJs, cage dancers, and our elite co-ed Ravish Room, Anti-Gym boasts the hottest facilities and clientele in Denver."

The Anti-Gym was raided by the IRS in January, its assets seized and shut down, according to the CBS affiliate in Denver.³

But to get a real flavor of what Karolchyk is all about, his profile in the Denver web-magazine 5280 is a must read. What a fine, upstanding citizen. And what an outstanding job for Fox News to have this "expert" appear on a regular basis.

Michael "No Chubbies" Karolchyk: Douchebag of the Week.

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¹ LA Times: Profile Dr. Regina M. Benjamin
² American Association of University Women

³ Talking Points Memo

Douchebag of the Week: Rep. Steve King

There are many things that expose Iowa Congressman Steve King's douchebaggery pretty much every time he opens his mouth. There's the time he called the Congressional Black and Hispanic Caucuses "separatist groups." Or when he went on a "Socialist" scare rant calling the Progressives in the House "socialists." Or when he claimed that Al-Qaeda would be "dancing in the streets" if Obama won the presidential election.

But this time, King really takes the cake.

That the United States Capitol, and specifically the Statue of Freedom that rests above it, was built by slave labor has long been a source of shame. The House sought to redress that grievance on Tuesday evening, however slightly, with a resolution acknowledging the role slaves played in the construction.

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) isn't having it.

The resolution passed 399-1, with King voting against.

The purpose of the resolution, according to its text, is to direct "the Architect of the Capitol to place a marker in Emancipation Hall in the Capitol Visitor Center which acknowledges the role that slave labor played in the construction of the United States Capitol."

The lone Congressman who decided that even this slight acknowledgement wasn't good enough to garner his vote was our good Christian, Rep. Steve King, who not too long ago thought a resolution to recognize "the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world" was worthy of Congressional votes. But a nod of recognition to the slaves who built our Capitol building? Not so much.

Iowa Rep. Steve King (R as in "Ridiculous"): Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Dana Milbank

President Obama's press conference last Monday afternoon apparently ruffled the feathers of Washington press insiders when he called on The Huffington Post's Nico Pitney for a question regarding Iran. Anyone following Pitney on a regular basis knows that he has spent the last two weeks trying to contact Iranian protesters on the ground through various technological means, like Twitter and Facebook.

When called upon, Pitney asked, "I wanted to use this opportunity to ask you a question directly from an Iranian. We solicited questions on tonight from people who are still courageous enough to be communicating online. And one of them wanted to ask you this: Under which conditions would you accept the election of Ahmadinejad? And if you do accept it without any significant changes in the conditions there, isn't that a betrayal of -- of what the demonstrators there are working to achieve?"

Pretty pertinent question, don't you think? Well Dana Milbank didn't. In fact, Milbank probably didn't even hear the question because he was so incensed that a mere blogger would be called upon instead of, well the Washington Post's Dana Milbank for example, perhaps to ask about President Obama's bathing suit paparazzi photo again. Titillating.

Milbank immediately took to his blog after the press conference and inaccurately "reported" the exchange between Pitney and the White House and spent the rest of the week trashing President Obama and his "staged" press conference, while Pitney continued the work of a real journalist getting as much information as possible from sources literally on the streets of Iran.

Staged press conferences, Dana? How quickly we forget Jeff Gannon. Or is that James Guckert? How quickly we forget the cabal of Fox reporters and conservative pundits doing the bidding of the Bush White House; an exclusive little group including the repugnant Neil Boortz and the crying lunatic, Glenn Beck.

Pitney then appeared on CNN's Reliable Sources, in an apparent "pre-arranged, staged" ambush flanked on either side by Milbank and the Washington Times' Amanda Carpenter, to accuse him of "collusion" with the White House, but Nico held his own, called Milbank out on his bathing suit silliness and slapped the whiny little bitch into next week.




According to multiple sources, at the end of the segment Milbank leaned in to Pitney and said, "You're such a dick." Perhaps if Milbank would do some actual journalistic work instead of the equivalent of a political gossip column for a newspaper who's credibility is continually fading (see: Dan Froomkin firing), maybe he'll get called on to ask a question. As long as it's not: "President Obama: Boxers or briefs?"

The Washington Post's faux reporter, Dana Milbank: Douchebag of the Week.

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Adding... I would be remiss not to remind readers of the staged news conference conducted by FEMA during the California wildfires in October of 2007, and this dipshit Milbank is seriously going to call Pitney a staged White House plant? Fuck you, Dana.

Douchebag of the Week: Rep. Cynthia Davis

I really don't get some politicians. Let me rephrase that - I really don't get the callousness of some politicians. Case in point: Rep. Cynthia "Let them eat cake" Davis (R-MO). Davis is not thrilled with the latest press release from the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services on a summer food program and has decided to comment on it.

The program provides “food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year.” Davis, who serves as the chairwoman of the Missouri House Special Standing Committee on Children and Families, questioned whether the program is “warranted,” and extolled the hidden benefits of child hunger:

Who’s buying dinner? Who is getting paid to serve the meal? Churches and other non-profits can do this at no cost to the taxpayer if it is warranted. [...] Bigger governmental programs take away our connectedness to the human family, our brotherhood and our need for one another. [...] Anyone under 18 can be eligible? Can’t they get a job during the summer by the time they are 16? Hunger can be a positive motivator. What is wrong with the idea of getting a job so you can get better meals? Tip: If you work for McDonald’s, they will feed you for free during your break. [...] It really is all about increasing government spending, which means an increase in taxes for us to buy more free lunches and breakfasts.

I found it hard to believe that a mother and Christian would be so flippant about a program that provides low income families healthy meals for their children during summer months when they rely on school lunch programs during the year. I went to her website to make sure she wasn't taken out of context and it was actually worse than reported. The disconnect is pretty shocking. I've captured it just in case it's removed from the site.



Maybe they shouldn't buy chips and ice cream. Can't they just get jobs at McDonald's? They'll feed you for free.

Rep. Cynthia Davis: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Frank Gaffney

I often wonder if MSNBC is supposed to be the Barack Obama network as wingnut conservatives claim, why they continue to give credence to douchebags like Frank Gaffney. Why is he a semi-regular on Hardball? What does he do other than malign, misinform and mislead in the guise of honest debate?

Here's part of Gaffney's latest column (and by "column," I mean the toilet paper he used that morning and handed in to his editors, as is most of his body of work, and by "work" I mean morning dumps, post coffee):

"...After his five months in office, and most especially after his just-concluded visit to Saudi Arabia and Egypt, however, a stunning conclusion seems increasingly plausible: The man now happy to have his Islamic-rooted middle name featured prominently has engaged in the most consequential bait-and-switch since Adolf Hitler duped Neville Chamberlain over Czechoslovakia at Munich.

What little we know about Mr. Obama's youth certainly suggests that he not only had a Kenyan father who was Muslim, but spent his early, formative years as one in Indonesia. As the president likes to say, "much has been made" -- in this case by him and his campaign handlers -- of the fact that he became a Christian as an adult in Chicago, under the now-notorious Pastor Jeremiah A. Wright.

With Mr. Obama's unbelievably ballyhooed address in Cairo Thursday to what he calls "the Muslim world" (hereafter known as "the Speech"), there is mounting evidence that the president not only identifies with Muslims, but actually may still be one himself."

The trifecta! An Hitler comparison, a Rev. Wright reference and the tried and true accusation that he is a Muslim. He continues the Manchurian Candidate inference. The Proof? Obama quoted the Koran four times! He "established first hand knowledge of Islam." He named Jesus in conjuction with Moses and Muhammed and said "peace be upon them" which is only used as a Muslim blessing upon dead prophets.

"According to Islam, that is what all three were - dead prophets. Of course, for Christians, Jesus is the living and immortal Son of God."

There's the proof, I tell you! It doesn't occur to Gaffney that maybe President Obama prepares for his speeches unlike his predecessor. Gaffney can't fathom that President Obama is smart enough to understand that when speaking to a group of 2,500 Muslims and millions more on television while you're in the Middle East, perhaps a little respect for their religion and culture goes a long way. But I don't think respect for religion and culture other than his own is Gaffney's forte.

Gaffney also took offense at President Obama's fight against religious intolerance.

"Even more troubling were the commitments the president made in Cairo to promote Islam in America. For instance, he declared: 'I consider it part of my responsibility as president of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.' "

That's troubling? What's really troubling is that Frank Gaffney is just one of the growing number of television face time sloths inciting fear and hatred based on lies that is causing eruptions like the ones in Pittsburgh, Wichita, Laughlin, NV and Washington DC. And he doesn't even know it. Or maybe he does know, but he doesn't care.

Frank Gaffney: Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag of the Week: Jennifer Fermino

From Jennifer Fermino of Rupert Murdoch's New York Post, "Bling Time For Prez": President Obama was awarded Saudi Arabia's highest honor yesterday -- an elaborate gold necklace and medallion fit for a king or a rap mogul.

...He smiled and posed for pics in his new bling, but took it off after a few minutes for "safekeeping."

So President Obama represents the post racial divide has been crossed in these great United States and now African-Americans can't fall back on that tried and true racial discrimination excuse anymore, huh? Or at least that's what Whitey's been saying since the election.

November 4, 2008 truly was a turning point. While it brought to the forefront the incredible strides we've made as a nation, it simultaneously awakened dormant racism that's been laying just under the surface of this country's skin, causing ugly, racist boils to erupt through scars that almost fifty years of fighting for civil rights have not yet healed.

And the New York Post's Jennifer Fermino exemplifies how "tolerant" we've become as a nation equating King Abdullah's gift, the King Abdul Aziz Order of Merit, as bling fit for a rap mogul.

Bob Cesca: I don't recall any "bling" headlines or rap mogul jokes when this happened:



Jennifer Fermino: Douchebag of the Week

(H/T Bob Cesca)

Douchebag of the Week: Harry Reid

It's only Wednesday but I don't even have to wait until the end of the week to nominate Senate Majority Leader Harry "Have You Seen My Balls?" Reid for Douchebag of the Week honors.

“Guantánamo makes us less safe,” the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, said on Tuesday at a news conference where he laid out the party’s rationale for its decision. “However, this is neither the time nor the bill to deal with this. Democrats under no circumstances will move forward without a comprehensive, responsible plan from the president. We will never allow terrorists to be released into the United States.”

That's right, Harry. All 241 detainees are "terrorists" that we're just going to let out into the streets. There's no possible way that some, if not most of these men who were swept up randomly and have been held for years without benefit of charge or trial could quite possibly be innocent. The fact that of the 29 men that have been tried in the Bush administration's sham of a military tribunal deemed unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, only four were found guilty even with the deck stacked against them bears no significance in your view.

Even if it were true that some, more than some, most, or even all of the detainees were the worst of the worst, I'm trying to follow the thought progression of fearmongering to the point that Reid, most Senate Democrats* and all Senate Republicans are such incredible piss in their pants, weeping pussies, that they don't even want these people on US soil, behind some of the world's tightest security supermax prisons. It confounds logic.

Do they have special powers? Is Allah going to come down and flatten the prison for an easy escape? Does the specific frequency of their Islamic extremist jihad shriek pulverize concrete walls and melt steel doors? I've said it before but it bears repeating: if we can keep some of our most dangerous criminals, mass murderers, serial rapists and pedophiles, drug lords and mafia leaders safely behind bars, but can't expect the US penal system to be able to handle suspected "terrorists", what does that say of our correctional institutions? What does it say TO our institutions?

Our congressional leaders are all crying NIMBY while small towns are willing to take prisoners in order to bolster employment during a recession that's bleeding them dry. But the politicians we voted into office are more worried about their re-election bids than doing the right thing and closing Gitmo - the biggest recruitment tool going for anti-American sentiment - and Harry "The Gelding" Reid falls right into the trap of the fear of being called weak on national security while actually weakening national security by keeping Guantanamo open. Keeping us "less safe" using his own words.

Harry E. (the 'E' stands for 'eunuch') Reid: Douchebag of the Week

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* Only Senators Durbin (D-IL), Harkin (D-IA), Leahy (D-VT), Levin (D-MI), Reed (D-RI) and Whitehouse (D-RI) voted against cutting the funds to close Gitmo.

Douchebag of the Week: Virginia Foxx

It brings a chill to my spine when I think of the caliber of some of our elected representatives and the voters that put them there.

This week, Rep. Viginia Foxx (R-NC) stood on the floor of the House of Representatives and while debating the hate crimes bill named after Matthew Shepard, who was killed because he was gay, called it a "hoax." According to Foxx, it was a robbery, not a gay hate crime.

I suppose in Foxx's world, some backwoods, racist and homophobic goons from Laramie, Wyoming plotting to drag someone out into the darkness, beat him to a pulp, string him up on a fencepost and leave him for dead is a just normal robbery gone wrong.

"(The) hate crimes bill was named for him, but it's really a hoax that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills," Foxx said.

Some of these nutballs are under the impression that passing hate crimes bills are infringing on free speech. What part of beating a person to death because you don't like their sexual orientation or skin color is considered "speech"?*

And where did Foxx get her information? Why from TV of course. A 2004 20/20 report questioned whether Shepard had actually been killed because he was gay. If it's on TV, it's gotta be true, right Rep. Foxx? Why bother reading the actual trial transcript for facts when you can watch faulty journalism on the tube? An extra doucheslap to Foxx for her non-apology apology:

"The term ‘hoax’ was a poor choice of words used in the discussion of the hate-crimes bill … Referencing these media accounts may have been a mistake, but if so, it was a mistake based on what I believed were reliable accounts."

Rep. Virginia Foxx, Douchebag of the Week.

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*And for those who say that racism is over because we now have a black president, tell that to the family of Mexican immigrant Luis Ramirez, who was beaten to death by two white teenagers and were just acquitted by an all white jury in rural Pennsylvania.

Douchebag of the Week: David Gregory

Is Tim Russert turning over in his grave? Or urn? (I don't know if he was cremated.) I know I would be spinning if I were a proud member of AFTRA and decided to bring on to my program the new General Motors CEO and attempt to blame the company's troubles on the union who manufactures their product.

Nicole Belle: ...David Gregory has presumably been a member of at least one union as a television "journalist" for the last ten+ years. Apparently, it's a "great for me, but not for thee" kind of thing for Gregory...

[...]

If the US actually had single-payer health care coverage for its citizens--like every other western country--then the auto industry could actually be relieved of those expenses.

But David, it would make FAR too much sense to propagandize FOR something that benefits the country instead of propagandizing AGAINST unions, wouldn't it?

David Gregory: Douchebag of the Week.


*Note - Last week I failed to choose a DOTW because I was away, but without a doubt, last week's Douchenozzle Extraordinaire™ was Michele "Armed and Dangerous" Bachmann for this and this and was a runner up this week for this.

(H/T Crooks & Liars)

Douchebag of the Week: Bill O'Reilly

By now we all know that Bill O'Reilly is unofficially King of the Douchebags and if I really wanted to, I could find something each week that would put him at the top of the list. So I guess you can say being named Douchebag of the Week is judged on a curve. If you're normally a douchenozzle, it should take something pretty extraordinary to have the dubious distinction awarded to you. Well, never let it be said that Bill O'Reilly disappoints in this regard.

Bill O'Reilly's Boston Herald Op-Ed: The other day, left-wing muckraker Seymour Hersh went on MSNBC and said he had information, provided by the usual anonymous sources, that Dick Cheney was running an assassination squad out of the White House.

I have but one simple observation: If Cheney really had such a crew, Hersh would have been dead a long time ago, and so would most everybody at MSNBC.

If you can stomach the six remaining short paragraphs, O'Reilly feigns humor with possible "lefty" news headline predictions with a wild swing and a miss; this along with the comments section continue to add justifiable proof to the theory that conservatives have no sense of humor.

Bill O'Reilly: Douchebag of the Week.

(H/T Think Progress)

Douchebag of the Week: Ari Fleischer

Yes, Bush apologist Ari Fleischer was the early front runner and far and away outdid himself in the Douchebag arena this week.

Here are a few stink nuggets from just one interview:

"...I also think Barack Obama should say thank you every day that he inherited a world without Saddam Hussein in it. "

(Fleischer repeated this laughable line at least four times during the interview.)


"I remind people that the tax cuts led to a record-breaking 55 months of economic growth and job creation. We‘ve never in this country had 55 straight months of job creation. We had that under President Bush before the bank failures of September."

(48 of those months were recovering the lost jobs of your administration's mild recession - the rest of those jobs have been lost with the current recession.)


"... the one thing people are going to remember the most is that [George W. Bush] kept us safe. We have not been attacked against since September 11."

(What about the anthrax attacks, Ari?)


"But after September 11, having been hit once, how could we take a chance that Saddam might not strike again?"

(Saddam never struck the first time, Ari. That was Osama bin Laden. Where is he? What's that old saying? "Wanted Dead or Alive"?)

Douchebag of the Week: Ari Fleischer