The Notorious D.I.C.K.

Well, where to start? After Rush Limbaugh's non-apology apology for calling Sandra† Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute," he tried to make excuses for himself for why he used those words, and tried to compare his profession to that of a rapper.

“Talk about a double standard,” Limbaugh said on air Monday, according to Dylan Stableford. “Rappers can say anything they want about women [and] it’s called art. And they win awards.”

Whether you like rap music or not, it's considered an art form because it's something that is created. When has Rush created anything other than a shitstorm of hate? Sorry, Notorious D.I.C.K., you're not a rapper.

And good for Sandra Fluke to reject Limbaugh's non-apology. He said he was sorry for using those words, but I don't remember him saying he was sorry for wanting to see sex tapes of Fluke in return for something he's not paying for, which also seems to be overlooked by those covering this story. In fact, calling her a slut and a prostitute was tame in comparison to the other things he said.

*One more thing: Did anyone notice that last all week, Limbaugh was pronouncing Fluke's name "Fluck" as in rhymes with "Fuck"? Only today has he been pronouncing her name correctly.


(† A previous version of this post mistakenly named Ms. Fluke as Sarah, and has been corrected.)

Rush Still Doesn't Get It

There must have been a major shitstorm in RushWorld after advertisers started pulling their spots from Limbaugh's show because of the crude, misogynist remarks he made toward Georgetown Law student Sandra Fluke and her Congressional testimony. His "slut" and "prostitute" remarks were not based in any reality whatsoever. Advertisers let him know by pulling their ads and it looks like he was either scared enough or pressured enough by ClearChannel to actually apologize in a statement.

For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.

My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.

But of course! Calling someone a slut and a prostitute is the height of humor. Ask and comedian and they'll tell you there's nothing like misogyny to get a crowd rolling in the aisles.

But this website apology only proves that Limbaugh never actually bothered to listen to or read Sandra Fluke's statement, and that he really doesn't understand how contraception works. So I'll try to explain in an attempt to make Rush and any dittohead understand what it is that he's railing about without any grasp of reality.

"I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress."

I think it would be absurd too, Rush, but that's not what they were talking about. If you bothered to educate yourself and actually listen to what they were talking about, you'd know they were speaking not of sex or sexual recreational activity (I know you're disappointed) but of the medical necessity of contraception. What about the woman who needs birth control to regulate her hormones because of endometriosis? What about the woman who suffers from polycystic ovarian syndrome, as Sandra Fluke testified?

"I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities."

We're not. Georgetown University is a PRIVATE school buying insurance plans from PRIVATE insurance companies on which students PAY premiums, just like anyone else who has an insurance plan. Taxpayers are not paying for this. In fact, the mandate the Obama administration put forth in their compromise which effectively took the church off the hook required the INSURANCE COMPANIES to provide free contraception (i.e. prescription meds, not condoms because it's not about sex) should the religious institutions have a moral dilemma with it.

But since Rush and Co. don't understand how contraception works, this is falling on deaf ears. Some are moronically still insisting that this is about sex and crunching the numbers to calculate how much sex women are having per day depending on their contraception costs.

"...it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level."

Once again, Rush, it's not about nosing into someone's bedroom - and the only reason it reach the Presidential level is because it was you who made it about the private affairs of someone's bedroom even though it isn't about sex. President Obama actually called Ms. Fluke to support her after your misogynist attack. Do we see a pattern here?

"...what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?"

Do I even have to go into comparing prescription medication to sneakers?

Rush doesn't understand. Rush will never understand. And the only reason Rush apologized was because he realized his words are hurting his wallet.

Too Little, Too Late

“One editorial note. On Friday, we did a story about the President meeting with the President of Gabon. We got a little bit fast and loose with the language, and we know it’s been interpreted as being disrespectful, and for that, I’m sorry. We did go a bit too far.”

~Eric Bolling's apology for his "hoods in the hizzouse" commentary last week.

Sorry, Eric. Too little, too late. You showed your true colors with the "chugging 40s" line weeks ago. Just own up to being an Obama basher because he's black. At least then you'll be an honest racist.

Fuck You, Brian Kilmeade

Kilmeade's non-apology apology for calling all Muslims terrorists:

"I misspoke. I don't believe all terrorists are Muslims. I'm sorry about that, if I offended or hurt anybody's feelings. But that's it."

But if I didn't offend anyone, then nevermind.

I'll never understand how these brainiacs get national shows.

GOP Defends BP! WTF? Rep. Joe Barton Apologizes To Hayward

I was out for most of the day today came back to watch Tweety in an understandable lather over Rep. "Texas" Joe Barton, ranking member of the Energy and Commerce Committee actually apologizing to BP CEO Tony Hayward, saying he was embarrassed by the "shakedown" those poor multi-millionaire criminals had to endure at the White House yesterday.

No, really. He apologized. He said he was "ashamed."

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

What is with this knee-jerk reaction of the Republican Party to steer 180° in the opposite direction of anything, ANYTHING this administration does as an automatic reaction? And to defend one of the most vile, corrupt oil companies in the process as these hearings continue to reveal!  Does Barton and his ilk think it's actually a good idea to try and win votes purely on Obama hate regardless of the issue? Calling BP's $20 billion escrow account for claims by thousands who've lost their livelihood due to the disaster a "shakedown"? Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann calling it a "redistribution of wealth"?

Keep it up, Republicans.

A Fox Zero Tolerance Policy for Errors

Hannity mixes 9-12 protesters video with the less impressive footage of Michele Bachmann's loon parade? Oops, we made a mistake. Robo-anchors claiming "pictures coming in just now" of huge crowds at Sarah Palin book signings when those "pictures" were 2008 Republican campaign rallies? Yeah, our bad. But the final straw was when a mistake wasn't in their favor.

During the umpteenth debate about whether Sarah Palin is a savior or a stooge, the producers flashed up the book cover not of Palin's "Going Rogue", but of Richard Kim and Betsy Reed's "Going Rouge", the counter argument brought to us by the editors of The Nation magazine, and had to air yet another apology.

So, in an effort to reduce or even eliminate careless mistakes maligning one of their own instead of their intended Democratic or liberal victim, mistakes that an eight year old wouldn't make, the powers that be at Fox have issued a "Zero Tolerance for On-Screen Errors" memo, describing immediate consequences, including possible termination, for gaffes like these in the future.

My guess is that these sorry producers got this memo and realized that they have to unlearn everything they've learned at FNC, because really, this isn't just a recent problem. This kind of stuff have been happening for years. How many times have we seen screwed up chyrons of disgraced Republican politicians with a "D" next to their name? And now that the White House has called them anything except a news organization, they're under the gun to avoid stupid mistakes, which have been ingrained in their psyche as just a little conservative tweaking to drive the point home. Now they must make a half-hearted effort at being "fair and balanced."

And this is just the producers' faux pas on the "news" sections of their programming. This doesn't even address the blatant Sean Hannity lies, or Bill O'Reilly misinformation, or the Glenn Beck lunacy that will continue unabated on Fox "News" Channel. That's still fine with them.

I wonder if this came about after the great Sean Hannity blew a gasket for having to apologize to a peon like Jon Stewart on his show, something I doubt he's had to ever do before with anyone or anything. There sat Hannity in his dressing room rehearsing an apology, probably like watching Happy Days' Fonzie admit he was wrong, before he was able to get through the whole thing without dry heaving.

So this now begs the question, if a FNC producer can get fired from their "news" division for a mistake, how soon before the entire Fox News Channel shuts down? Two or three days tops?

(H/T GottaLaff)

Letterman's Apology

It seems that after further reflection of his Palin joke, David Letterman is issuing a formal apology on tonight's Late Night broadcast. My only question is this: Will the Palins graciously accept the apology and let it drop? Or will they continue to beat a dead horse and milk the fauxtrage?


UPDATE (6/15/09 10:15am): Palin accepts:

"Of course it's accepted on behalf of young women, like my daughters, who hope men who 'joke' about public displays of sexual exploitation of girls will soon evolve," the statement read.

"Letterman certainly has the right to 'joke' about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction. And this is all thanks to our U.S. military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America's right to free speech - in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect."

It's over, right? Not for opportunists like the slimy John Ziegler who is calling for Letterman's firing and started up a website campaign. I'll tell you what, John, when you start up a campaign to impeach Senator John McCain for his joke and go on national television to demand the firing of Rush Limbaugh for his joke , then we'll talk. Until then, shut the fuck up.

Adding... after reading and re-reading Palin's statement, I'm going to amend "Palin accepts" to "Palin accepts scornfully."

Bunning Apologizes...

... for is boneheaded remark about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

"I apologize if my comments offended Justice Ginsberg," Bunning said. "That certainly was not my intent. It is great to see her back at the Supreme Court today and I hope she recovers quickly. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family."

The Bunning office misspelled her name.

NY Post Issues Classic Non-Apology Apology

The New York Post has issued the typical apology in which those who were offended were at fault for the tasteless editorial cartoon printed in yesterday's edition.

Wednesday's Page Six cartoon - caricaturing Monday's police shooting of a chimpanzee in Connecticut - has created considerable controversy.

It shows two police officers standing over the chimp's body: "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill," one officer says.

It was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill.

Period.

But it has been taken as something else - as a depiction of President Obama, as a thinly veiled expression of racism.

This most certainly was not its intent; to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.

However, there are some in the media and in public life who have had differences with The Post in the past - and they see the incident as an opportunity for payback.

To them, no apology is due.

Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon - even as the opportunists seek to make it something else.

Shuster Apologizes But Clinton Threatens MSNBC

Last night, David Shuster made an inappropriate comment while interviewing a couple of analysts regarding Chelsea Clinton's role in her mother's campaign and calling the hosts of The View as well as superdelegates trying to garner support for Hillary Clinton.

SHUSTER: ...there's just something a little bit unseemly to me that Chelsea is out there calling up celebrities saying, "Support my mom." And, apparently, she's also calling these super delegates... doesn't it seem like Chelsea's sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?

Now we all know what he meant by that comment and it was a definitely a slip of the tongue and inappropriate for Shuster to use that particular slang phrase. Had Shuster said Chelsea was "being used" instead of being "pimped out," there would be absolutely no story here. But apparently the public flipped out to the extent that MSNBC has suspended Shuster from all NBC broadcasting except to apologize for the remark, which he has done.

Story over, right? WRONG.

Now the Clinton campaign has threatened not to participate in any MSNBC sponsored debates.

In a conference call with reporters, Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson on Friday excoriated MSNBC's David Shuster for suggesting the Clinton campaign had "pimped out" 27-year old Chelsea by having her place phone calls to celebrities and Democratic Party "superdelegates" on her mother's behalf.

Wolfson called Shuster's comment "beneath contempt" and disgusting.

"I, at this point, can't envision a scenario where we would continue to engage in debates on that network," he added.

I now call "BULLSHIT" on Wolfson. Who the fuck does he think he's kidding? If Hillary Clinton doesn't want to participate in the debates, then fine. We're done with it. They won't participate on MSNBC, but they're ready to debate on Fox News? Are they fucking insane?

Just last week, Clinton was begging for a chance at weekly debates as her funds were running low and the contests would provide free exposure, but now that she's gotten an influx of internet cash after revealing that she has signed a $5 million personal check to keep her campaign going, NOW the campaign is threatening MSNBC? Really?!

You know what, Hil? Go ahead. Shoot yourself in the foot, because that is exactly what you're going to do if you decide to renege on MSNBC. Obama will say no to Fox, and you'll be back at square one, with maybe one debate on CNN. All this after MSNBC has suspended Shuster from any NBC broadcast due to the comments for which he's already apologized.

You've had 18 fucking debates already! I'm sick of hearing "ready to lead on day one," and "35 years of experience," so unless you have a new talking point, I think I've heard your entire schtick multiple times. I don't need to hear it another five times before March 4th. Debate exposure at this point is only going to benefit you, so if you really want to pull the trigger before removing your gun for its holster, be my guest.

John Gibson Apologizes for Ledger Remarks

...Probably because his job was threatened if he didn't. He's still an asshole.

From Media Matters: ...I'm sorry that some took my comments as anti-gay and insensitive. I'm aware that Ledger has a family and many fans who were grief-stricken by his sudden death.

As I speak, a crowd is gathering at the funeral home where Ledger's funeral services will be held. Those who knew him say he was a good actor and a loving dad. And what happened to him was terrible, but was evidently an accident. Once again, to anyone offended by my comments, I'm sorry. But I'm also sorry that Heath Ledger is no longer alive and with us.

Chris Matthews Apologizes For His Clinton Comments

...and sounds sincere. Of course, you have to guess that he was probably getting major pressure from MSNBC and his viewers.