Saturday, August 9, 2008

Randy Newman - A Few Words In Defense of Our Country

When I was a kid, Randy Newman made my life a living hell. You see, I'm not a tall person, but when I was a kid, I was pretty much always the shortest in my class. I was always the boy sitting on the floor indian style in all the class pictures.

Then Randy Newman came out with "Short People." Man, that was a killer. Everyone sang that song to me, like it was my anthem or something. No one ever got to the second verse, the part that said, "Short People are just the same/As you and I (A Fool Such As I)/All men are brothers/Until the day they die (It's A Wonderful World)."

I eventually got over it, but I do have traumatic memories every time I hear that song. And sometimes I think if I ever get to meet Newman, I'd punch him in the neck. Anyway, time went on and I began to like Newman's music, especially his movie scores. The Natural is one of my favorites.

Now I come across another Newman song written about a year ago, but I never heard it until today. One of the best things he's ever written.



(H/T FDL)


I’d like to say a few words
In defense of our country
Whose people aren’t bad nor are they mean
Now the leaders we have
While they’re the worst that we’ve had
Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen

Let’s turn history’s pages, shall we?

Take the Caesars for example
Why within the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister
Stashing little boys in swimming pools
And burning down the City
And one of ‘em, one of 'em
Appointed his own horse Consul of the Empire
That’s like vice president or something

That’s not a very good example, is it?

But wait, here’s one, the Spanish Inquisition
They put people in a terrible position
I don’t even like to think about it

Well, sometimes I like to think about it

Just a few words in defense of our country
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now we don’t want their love
And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend

Hitler. Stalin.
Men who need no introduction

King Leopold of Belgium. That’s right.
Everyone thinks he’s so great
Well he owned The Congo
He tore it up too
He took the diamonds, he took the gold
He took the silver
Know what he left them with?

Malaria

A President once said,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now it seems like we’re supposed to be afraid
It’s patriotic in fact and color coded
And what are we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraid
That’s what terror means, doesn’t it?
That’s what it used to mean

You know it pisses me off a little
That this Supreme Court is gonna outlive me
A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too
But I defy you, anywhere in the world
To find me two Italians as tightass as the two Italians we got

And as for the brother
Well, Pluto’s not a planet anymore either

The end of an empire is messy at best
And this empire is ending
Like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea
We’re adrift in the land of the brave
And the home of the free

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

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