Wednesday, November 12, 2008

All The News We Hope To Print - UPDATED

On the way in to work this morning, I was handed a copy of the New York Times for free. "How nice," I thought. But then I read the headline and spit out my coffee. IRAQ WAR ENDS.

What the fuck?! That was fast! Obama rules!
This morning, commuters in New York City were handed free copies of what appeared to be the New York Times. In fact, what they had been given was a surprisingly elaborate forgery: A fake version of the paper dated July 4th, 2009 that offers as its lead story "IRAQ WAR ENDS."

Other headlines in the paper, which is full of stories that, if true, would be cause for celebration among liberals, include "USA Patriot Act Repealed" and "National Health Insurance Act Passes"; the fake newspaper's slogan is "All the news we hope to print."

It's a full 14 page print version - a website version is also available but it seems overloaded.
Later on Wednesday morning, the Yes Men issued a statement claiming credit for the prank. The statement said, in part:
In an elaborate operation six months in the planning, 1.2 million papers were printed at six different presses and driven to prearranged pickup locations, where thousands of volunteers stood ready to pass them out on the street.
Pretty fucking brilliant. Even the ads are fake, but oh, so good. Here's what the full page ad from Exxon Mobil read:
We at Exxon are committed to meeting the new Congressional guidelines for socially, economically, & environmentally responsible enery. That's why we applaud the end of the war in Iraq.

The invasion of Iraq was supposed to mean access to oil without the costly interference of national sovereignty, and lower prices at the pump for you and your family. Projections and reality differed, but now we've learned: PEACE can also be lucrative.

Times have changed. Oil fields have reverted back to a newly independent Iraq, and Congress has mandated "Fair Trade," in which most profits go not to brokers, stockholders and a small management circle, but flow directly to those who produce. Exxon is excited about helping do things better - not just because it's the law, but because Exxon has always been about innovation. It's also an opportunity to turn over a new leaf. As Exxon finds itself under feredal oversight, we are more than happy to use our profits to develop sustainable, decentralized energy production. This will help fight further climate change, and prevent costly new wars over energy in the future. After all, if everyone can turn the sun or wind into power, what's there to fight about?

Peace. An idea the world can profit from.

Brought to you by Exxon. Finding decent ways to deliver the energy you need.


Now that's an advertisement!

Of course, my favorite article is "Court Indicts Bush on High Treason Charge." I'll scan and post it late tonight.

UPDATE (11/13/08 10:40am): Here's that scan. It' looks so much better in print, doesn't it? (Click on picture for full size.)

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