Saturday, April 9, 2011

Let's Abort this Shit, Shall We?


My cousin sent me a message asking for debunking back up. The crap she wanted to challenge was essentially about Planned Parenthood and the "Planned Parenthood profit" myth. Considering the amount of profit reported in the many intertube rumors shifts between $400 million and $100 million dollars, one is compelled to ask: if there is a massive discrepancy in the amount supposedly profited, don't ya think maybe the fact that there is a profit is questionable?

So anywho, I sent her a 990 form that shows exactly what Planned Parenthood brought in and what it sent out. That seemed like a reasonable thing to do. But you know what they say about reasoning... Anyway, there is no profit in a non-profit. And if anyone wants to read through this gazillion page 990, you can see that they spent a boat load of cash on preventative and health care programs. And if they had any money left over at the end of the year, it was properly re-absorbed in ways that can limit how much they get from the Feds the next year.

And of course I addressed the whole Hyde Amendment thingy-ma-bob. Which, if you are reading this, you SHOULD know what that is.

So then I addressed the millions of birth control services PP provides a year and disclaimed that with, you know, the reality that the more birth control there is the fewer abortions there are. Considering I was sending this message through my cousin to the idiot who posted the freakout, I hope my "you big dumbass" tone made it through. I also pointed out the thousands of lives saved through cancer screenings but I'm not sure why I pointed that out. The only life that is sacred is that of an unborn fetus and not a woman's who discovers she has cervical cancer after a Planned Parenthood medical professional swipes her cervix with a damn bristle brush.

And then I decided to bring up the one thing my cousin's friend left out of her original crap rant, a point I've heard raised again and again: Cecile Richards' salary. I consider this move a preemptive strike. You see, a lot of anti-Planned Parenthood (which is ironically named since APPARENTLY they only PREVENT parenthood according to some idiots) folks seems outraged over how much PP pays Ms. Richards, their president. She makes about $300k a year. That's a nice chunk of cash. Wow. I wish I made that much. And wow, she'd be the perfect candidate for that Bush tax cut... but I digress. Anyway, they don't like that she makes so much money considering PP gets federal money -- funny, the same people didn't seem bothered that heads of bailed-out banks made MILLIONS and that was all funded by the government. Well, they were mad about the bail-outs but didn't want the government to set salaries or decided how that tax-funded income should be taxed. Again, I digress...

So back to my preemptive strike of Cecile Richards' salary and how, gosh darn it, how can we use government money to subsidize an organization that pays a woman a lot of money to Plan Parenthood!?!

Enter, The Candies Foundation and ... ta da... Bristol Palin. Yep, a formerly knocked-up teen made almost as much money as the president of a national organization that serves MILLIONS of women each year to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Yep, Bristol, the poor suffering teenage single mom made almost as much as a college-educated executive.

And guess what? The Candies Foundation is a Public Charity -- meaning they collect federal dollars. And guess what? They spent only about $40k in funding to actual programs to prevent pregnancies. Obviously you can't compare the incoming and outgoing moolah between the two organizations. But when you compare apples to apples, Candies spent BUCKETS on Bristol and pits on programs. Whereas, Planned Parenthood spent a bucket on staffing and shitload of buckets on programs.

Just a little funny. Just a little ironic.

And I should probably disclose that I am still a great fan of Cecile Richards' late mother and tend to get bristly when Cecile is attacked by dumb-asses.

1 comment:

Broadway Carl said...

Thanks for this. The other factoid that no one seems to mention is that the Title X funds don't go solely to Planned Parenthood. 75% of those funds go to other clinics around the country. About 4,500 of them.

Also, PP's abortions account for about 3% of the entirety of services they provide. And that 3% is funded by private donations because we all know, or at least we should all know, that federal funding cannot be used for abortion services since 1976 due to Hyde Amendment.