Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Douchebag of the Week: Harry Reid

It's only Wednesday but I don't even have to wait until the end of the week to nominate Senate Majority Leader Harry "Have You Seen My Balls?" Reid for Douchebag of the Week honors.

“Guantánamo makes us less safe,” the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, said on Tuesday at a news conference where he laid out the party’s rationale for its decision. “However, this is neither the time nor the bill to deal with this. Democrats under no circumstances will move forward without a comprehensive, responsible plan from the president. We will never allow terrorists to be released into the United States.”

That's right, Harry. All 241 detainees are "terrorists" that we're just going to let out into the streets. There's no possible way that some, if not most of these men who were swept up randomly and have been held for years without benefit of charge or trial could quite possibly be innocent. The fact that of the 29 men that have been tried in the Bush administration's sham of a military tribunal deemed unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, only four were found guilty even with the deck stacked against them bears no significance in your view.

Even if it were true that some, more than some, most, or even all of the detainees were the worst of the worst, I'm trying to follow the thought progression of fearmongering to the point that Reid, most Senate Democrats* and all Senate Republicans are such incredible piss in their pants, weeping pussies, that they don't even want these people on US soil, behind some of the world's tightest security supermax prisons. It confounds logic.

Do they have special powers? Is Allah going to come down and flatten the prison for an easy escape? Does the specific frequency of their Islamic extremist jihad shriek pulverize concrete walls and melt steel doors? I've said it before but it bears repeating: if we can keep some of our most dangerous criminals, mass murderers, serial rapists and pedophiles, drug lords and mafia leaders safely behind bars, but can't expect the US penal system to be able to handle suspected "terrorists", what does that say of our correctional institutions? What does it say TO our institutions?

Our congressional leaders are all crying NIMBY while small towns are willing to take prisoners in order to bolster employment during a recession that's bleeding them dry. But the politicians we voted into office are more worried about their re-election bids than doing the right thing and closing Gitmo - the biggest recruitment tool going for anti-American sentiment - and Harry "The Gelding" Reid falls right into the trap of the fear of being called weak on national security while actually weakening national security by keeping Guantanamo open. Keeping us "less safe" using his own words.
Harry E. (the 'E' stands for 'eunuch') Reid: Douchebag of the Week

* Only Senators Durbin (D-IL), Harkin (D-IA), Leahy (D-VT), Levin (D-MI), Reed (D-RI) and Whitehouse (D-RI) voted against cutting the funds to close Gitmo.

1 comment:

Matt Osborne said...

I'm resurrecting this little ditty:

"If Only Harry Had a Spine"

I could bring a bill to cloture
And heed the will of voters
Ending gridlock-grind;
For sixty votes I'd muster;
There'd be no filibuster
If I only had a spine!

Agendas would be simple
And leftward of the middle
Passing in good time;
Oh, the bills we would be passing
With an expedited fashion
If I only had a spine!

Oh, who can tell me why
The GOP's in charge?
'Minority' means not so large
So why is taking charge so hard?

I could be not quite so easy
An upright leader, you see,
Instead of flat-supine;
I would be friends with Jerry and
Obama would be merry
If I only had a spine!