The Pandemic of Stupid (Part One: Iran's Election)

I haven't blogged much over the last couple of days because I've been sitting in front of my television machine waiting for a CDC news conference to announce that about 30% of the US population has been infected with a Stupid Plague. But so far, nothing. No BREAKING NEWS or THIS JUST IN. No Alex Witt(less) and her hairsprayed mane on MSNBC to warn of the Stupid Plague. No Wolf Blitzer and his Beard of Doom™ interviewing a government official telling us to wrap our houses in plastic sheeting and duct tape to avoid losing your brain cells.

What gives? We've all been exposed to it. Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck seem to be the "Typhoid Marys" of the Stupid Plague, the carriers of this disease but somehow remain immune to becoming so stupid that they continue to breathe involuntarily even though their brain matter has turned to goo. I sometimes wonder how they haven't stepped into an oncoming bus while crossing the street.

There has been an outbreak of the Stupid Plague and it's easy to detect those infected. For example:

Iran has its presidential elections and it looks like a tight race. Mahmoud "Holocaust Schmolocaust" Ahmadinejad was feeling the heat from Mir-Hossein "That's HOssein not HUssein" Mousavi. The vote counting went all through the night. The results? Ahmadinejad wins 63% of the vote. WHAAA?!?! This was "close"? There are riots in the streets, hundreds of thousands of protesters wanting their vote to count. It looks like they take their elections seriously in Iran; they don't take their vote for granted, like in.... nevermind.

So what is the general reaction?

President Obama: "The second thing I think’s important to recognize is that the easiest way for reactionary forces inside Iran to crush reformers is to say it’s the US that is encouraging those reformers. So what I’ve said is, `Look, it’s up to the Iranian people to make a decision. We are not meddling.’ And, you know, ultimately the question that the leadership in Iran has to answer is their own credibility in the eyes of the Iranian people."

Makes sense doesn't it? If we're shouting democracy and freedom from the mountaintops, why in the hell would he interfere in another country's election if we don't happen to like the outcome?

John McCain: "I'm disappointed, it is an American principle ever since our founding that we are dedicated to the principle that all are created equal and the fact is they have the right to free elections and to select their leadership."

That's right, Johnny. An American principle. Last I checked, Iran was a Middle Eastern theocracy that we've had no diplomatic relations with for the last 30 years.

But you have to hand it to McCain being so concerned about the elections of a people he joked about bombing the shit out of not too long ago. And haven't we heard the nutty neocons like Joshua Muravchik, William Kristol and Charles Krauthammer advocating military action against Iran for what seems like forever? Now the same neocon establishment are the defenders of democracy in the Middle East? The bastions of liberty for Iran? Please, spare me.

Mike Pence (R-Doucheland): "I appreciate the fact that the president said the protesters have a right to be heard and represented, and I appreciate the fact that he said he is troubled... But I respectfully disagree with the administration's decision to essentially draw the line at not meddling and not interfering."

So Pence wants the United States government to meddle and interfere with Iran's elections? I wonder what Pence would have said if, oh I don't know, Germany or France or even Iran had "meddled or interfered" with our 2004 Presidential election because of the prospect of voter fraud in Ohio? I'm guessing he wouldn't have been thrilled about it.

Oh, and by the way, just because President Obama mentioned Iran and said we weren't going to meddle in their electoral affairs was enough to cause Iranian officials to accuse the US of meddling in their affairs. But, unlike the GOP using this as a political opportunity, and the neocons who have a penchant for being incredibly wrong on their warmonger ideas (see Iraq, Shock and Awe), I'd rather be accused of meddling in another sovereign nation's political process than actually meddling.