Whatever Happened to Ann Coulter?

Ann Coulter. Remember her? It seems like only yesterday I watched as Coulter made the rounds and was front and center on seemingly every cable news show, magazine cover and conservative circle jerk. But for the most part, she burned out her popularity because she was even too nutty for the run of the mill neocons to hold her in any esteem. Besides, they now have Glenn Beck to adore. The only time we ever see Coulter anymore is on her annual CPAC fellatiofest and even then, we have to search for it. Well, leave it to the Rude Pundit to remind me of the ghastly existence of Ann Coulter.

Coulter's latest article (and if by "article" you mean the jibbering, nonsensical rant of an increasingly insignificant has-been who knows it) goes to great lengths to blame the Obama administration for a myriad of things related to the failed SUV Times Square bombing attempt. There are sooooo many things wrong with this article that even rational anti-Obama factions may cringe while reading it. It's almost not worth it to go point by point and debunk the latest turd crapped out of Coulter's syphllitic brain. But just the same, here are some of the highlights.

"It took Faisal Shahzad trying to set a car bomb in Times Square to get President Obama, Attorney General Eric Holder and Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano to finally use the word 'terrorism.'"

Wrong. Wrong. Absolutely wrong. And everyone knows it, but she insists on using debunked accusations.

"...having the Transportation Security Administration wanding infants, taking applesauce away from 93-year-old dementia patients, and forcing all Americans to produce their shoes, computers and containers with up to 3 ounces of liquid in Ziploc bags for special screening pretty much blows that "not intimidated" look Obama wants America to adopt."

While I happen to agree with Coulter (gulp) in the use of some of the ridiculous procedures she lists above, she seems to be blaming Obama for TSA guidelines created by the previous Bush administration. I wonder who on the right, pray tell, would be the first to criticize the current administration if it were to tamp down TSA procedures?

"...it would be a little easier for the rest of us not to live in fear if the president's entire national security strategy didn't depend on average citizens happening to notice a smoldering SUV in Times Square or smoke coming from a fellow airline passenger's crotch."

And it would be a little easier for the reality-based public to accept her critique had it not been for the passengers of United Airlines Flight 93 overtaking the 9/11 hijackers or the passengers subduing shoe bomber Richard Reid during his failed attempt to blow up his tootsies. You see, Ann, we all have a responsibility to do something. And you, as well as everyone else critical of Obama for the reason du jour, seem to have forgotten that the worst terrorist attack on this country happened during a Republican administration, you know, because the GOP keeps us so safe while the Democratic Party is soft on terrorism.

"If only Dr. Hasan's gun had jammed at Fort Hood, that could have been another huge foreign policy success for Obama."

Foreign policy success? Is Fort Hood not in Texas anymore? Or has Coulter just pre-emptively decided that secession is the right move for them? She unfortunately goes on.

"In the case of the Times Square car bomber, the Department of Homeland Security failed, the Immigration and Naturalization Service failed, the CIA failed and the TSA failed."

If capturing a suspected terrorist within 53 hours of a failed attempt is considered a failure, what would the definition of success be? I would also remind Coulter that the Immigration and Naturalization Service ceased to exist in 2003, since it was swallowed up by Homeland Security, the largest bureaucratic clusterfuck known to the history of American government created by... wait for it... the Bush administration. But still, let's break this down for a minute.

Any one of us can go to a few different Home Depot or Lowe's stores and buy three barbecue style propane tanks. While I'm there, I can buy fertilizer for my lawn. Any one of us can fill two 5-gallon containers with gasoline at any gas station. Any one of us buy a couple of alarm clocks at a Wal-Mart. Any one of us can drive across the Queensborough Bridge (no toll booths) and end up on 45th Street and Broadway.

I don't know the last time Coulter was in Times Square (since it was cleaned up of XXX venues, whores and drug dealers) but it is riddled with cops. Had Mr. T-shrt Vendor not notified a police officer when he did, chances are authorities would have detected the SUV emitting smoke within seconds and the same procedure would have taken place.

But hey, why am I giving Coulter the satisfaction of an explanation? It's not like she'll change her feeble mind. The point is that the system worked like it was supposed to. Local law enforcement did it's job, coordinated with federal law enforcement and the suspect was caught in two days.

As far as Shahzad going as far as getting on the airplane, reports I've read and interviews I've heard confirm that the No Fly List is updated every 12 hours. On this particular day, it was updated at 4:30pm. Shahzad made his reservation at 5:30pm, before whatever desk he stood in front of had an updated list. No worries, because after the flight is completely boarded, the passenger manifest is sent to the FAA before takeoff for one final list check. This is when they realized Shahzad was on the flight and hence put him in custody.

Coulter's rambling about how 100,000 passengers at JFK were made to take off their shoes, belts and coats while Shahzad waltzed on to his flight makes absolutely no sense, since he didn't have any contraband on his person.

"The federal government didn't stop the diaper bomber from nearly detonating a bomb over Detroit. It didn't stop a guy on the 'No Fly' list from boarding a plane and coming minutes away from getting out of the country."

Diaper bomber? Uh, maybe you'd want to ask the government of Amsterdam, where the underpants bomber boarded his flight that question. And Shahzad did indeed get on that plane, but if this was a failure, would be talking about how he was in hiding somewhere in Pakistan now instead of under arrest in the US.

"Both of the attempted bombers who sailed through airport security, I note, were young males of the Islamic faith. I wonder if we could develop a security plan based on that information?"

Coulter is pro-racial profiling apparently. That wouldn't have stopped Richard Poplawski. Or the Hutaree Militia. Or Scott Roeder. Or James Von Brunn. Or Ted Kaczynski. Or Timothy McVeigh.

And speaking of a "highly trained federal force," who's working at the INS these days?

No one since 2003, you idiot.

 But it never really mattered for Coulter to be fact free and fascist before, so why should she start caring now?