Worst. Psychiatrist. Ever.

I'm guessing if you lined up 100 psychiatrists and asked them the same question, only Fox News' head shrink Keith Ablow would come up with such a ridiculous answer, the other 99 would demand to see his credentials and recommend revoking his license.

How else can you explain Ablow's amazing analysis when he comes to the conclusion that Gingrich might make a better president because of his infidelity? And if three women fell in love with him, then why not the entire country? You know, because Newt's such a Svengali.

1) Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him.

2) Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married.

3 ) One of them felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married for the second time, was not exactly her equal in the looks department and had a wife (Marianne) who wanted to make his life without her as painful as possible.

Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.

Really, "Doctor" Ablow? I have no such worries.

But witness the analytic mind at work. It may be working at an insane asylum, but working nonetheless, complete with bullet points, assumptions that Marianne Gingrich wanted to punish Newt,  and his "logical" conclusion.

Before you think this is a satirical piece, just remember that Ablow is part of Fox News Channel's  "Medical A-Team." That's got to be worth something, right? My guess is that he's the Howling Mad Murdoch of the group. He continues:

4) Two women—Mr. Gingrich’s first two wives—have sat down with him while he delivered to them incredibly painful truths: that he no longer loved them as he did before, that he had fallen in love with other women and that he needed to follow his heart, despite the great price he would pay financially and the risk he would be taking with his reputation.

Conclusion: I can only hope Mr. Gingrich will be as direct and unsparing with the Congress, the American people and our allies. If this nation must now move with conviction in the direction of its heart, Newt Gingrich is obviously no stranger to that journey.

Yes, because we all know that Gingrich is so truthful in his political life, he was reprimanded and fined for ethic violations during his tenure as Speaker of the House in the 90's. (And a Happy Anniversary to you on that one, Newt.) And it looks like the "great price he would pay financially" comes in the form of Tiffany's charge accounts.

But don't stop there, read the rest. I'm sure you'll have a good laugh, but keep a barf bag near you just in case.

I pity the fool that follows Ablow's psychiatric advice.


UPDATE: A previous version of this post mentioned Ablow insulting Marianne Gingrich's looks which was a misreading on my part. He is actually comparing Callista Gingrinch's attractiveness to... Newt's!

Down Goes Cain! Down Goes Cain!

Seriously, Republican voters? Is this what it took?

Yesterday, Herman Cain announced that he was suspending his campaign.

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul-searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” Mr. Cain said at a rally in Atlanta, surrounded by supporters chanting his name. “Because of the continued distractions, the continued hurt caused on me and my family, not because we are not fighters. Not because I’m not a fighter.”

...With his wife, Gloria, at his side at the Atlanta rally, Mr. Cain said the accusations of sexual harassment and of a 13-year affair were untrue. “I’m at peace with my God,” he said. “I’m at peace with my wife, and she is at peace with me.”

In yet another example of the death of the Republican Party, the Sociopath Who Would Be President fell to earth not because of his stellar foreign policy, not because he jokes/doesn't joke about electrocuting illegal immigrants crossing the border, not because of his video game economic plan, not due to his lack of knowledge on China's 47 year old nuclear program, not even because he didn't have the first clue on what the hell was going on in Libya. No, it would seem that the only thing that took down Herman Cain was Herman Cain.

The wingnuts can forgive stupidity when it comes to running the country, but not when it comes to various cases of sexual harassment claims and an alleged 13-year extramarital affair. That is of course, unless you're Newt Gingrich.

The difference between Cain and the thrice married, serial adulterer Gingrich, is that if you admit you're wrong, even if your explanation is complete bullshit, all is forgiven. But every indicator suggests Cain has never and will never admit to doing anything wrong.

Cain "Reassessing" His Campaign

After yet another woman came forward to accuse Herman Cain of a 13 year affair, Herman Cain has decided to reassess his campaign for the GOP presidential nomination. What the hell is wrong with this guy? There's something sociopathically wrong with Cain - he continues to say he's done nothing wrong. And what does his lawyer say in his defense?

...this appears to be an accusation of private, alleged consensual conduct between adults - a subject matter which is not a proper subject of inquiry by the media or the public. No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life. The public’s right to know and the media’s right to report has boundaries and most certainly those boundaries end outside of one’s bedroom door.

Really? Tell that to Bill Clinton.

Talk about non-denial denials! What's to reassess. He should just quit while he's behind and hire a divorce lawyer who'll hopefully perform better than his current one.

Also, remember Herman Cain's old fundraising radio ad? The one where he goes after every black racial stereotype including "cheating on your wife"?



I wonder if he's rethinking that one.

Oh, and as an aside, I wonder if Ann Coulter is still defending Cain with her "our blacks are better than their blacks" intellectual argument?

Dumbass Quote of the Day

"There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn't trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them."

~Newt Gingrich explaining his adultery.

Yes, Gingrich loved his country sooooo much, that he cheated on his former high school geometry teacher and first wife, Jackie Battley with Marianne Ginther (his future second wife) and divorced Battley while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery, and then cheated on Ginther with House staffer and future third wife, Callista Bisek, all the while jonesing to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky at the same time Newt was playing Hide the Gavel with Bisek.

That's some special kind of patriotism, huh?

What's the Difference Between Tiger Woods and Max Baucus?

Tiger Woods is great at his job.

Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus’ office confirmed late Friday night that the Montana Democrat was carrying on an affair with his state office director, Melodee Hanes, when he nominated her to be U.S. attorney in Montana.

According to a source familiar with their relationship, Hanes and Baucus began their relationship in the summer of 2008 – nearly a year before Baucus and his wife, Wanda, formally separated in April. The Senator has since divorced his wife.

Hanes ended her employment with Baucus in the spring of this year.

(H/T Cesca)

BREAKING NEWS! Man Cheats on Woman

Woods says he lets family down: THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. – Tiger Woods said he let his family down with transgressions he regrets “with all of my heart,” and that he will deal with his personal life behind closed doors.

His statement Wednesday follows a cover story in Us Weekly magazine that reports a Los Angeles cocktail waitress claims she had a 31-month affair with the world’s No. 1 golfer.

I am so happy this is out in the open now. I don't know how I could have gone on with my life had I not known all the sordid details. (Here endeth the snark.)

Other People's Sex Lives

Posted by Fraulein

Ever since then-President Clinton was practically burned at the stake by our highly-principled news media for his affair with Monica Lewinsky, I've been fascinated by the pull that this type of adultery story seems to exhibit. I totally understand the concern that a person in a position of power could abuse that position to demand sexual favors from staff members. If that had been the case with Clinton, then yes, my journalistic instincts tell me that would have been a story. But with a willing, adult-age partner, where is the story? A guy cheated on his wife? These things do happen. Dog bites man. Not a story.

I've been reminded of all this in reading the tons of ink spilled on the David Letterman adultery story. Unless I’ve missed something, it doesn’t seem that any of the women Letterman apparently slept with have accused him of demanding sex in return for job perks or promotions or continued employment. Nobody is saying he preyed on underage staffers. So why the hell does anyone care? Did the guy break any laws? If not, why does the media feel inclined to beat this story to death? I guess in this case the answer is the same as it usually is: this story is being over-covered because it’s an easy story to cover. (Our media is nothing if not lazy.) There’s ready-made video with Dave’s noteworthy on-air discussion of the events, in an effort to take control of the narrative from the guy trying to blackmail him. And as much as we love our celebrities in America, we love seeing them beaten down even more. A humiliated celebrity is far better news fodder than a famous person on top of the world.

That said, I find the Associated Press’ hand-wringing in the above-linked story quite interesting. What must Dave do to keep women viewers, the AP wonders? Speaking as a (sigh) middle-aged married woman, I have to say that nothing about this whole thing bothers me, aside from the media’s over-reaction to it. Letterman’s sex life concerns me precisely as much as Bill Clinton’s sex life concerned me back in the 1990s: not one goddamn bit. Why shouldn’t I keep watching Letterman’s show? Don’t I have more pressing things to worry about? How immature am I supposed to be, exactly?

The last thing I want to waste time worrying about is other people’s legal, consensual sexual activities. Period. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. But the media will never admit that most people simply don’t care about this stuff.

Cross-posted at Purple Ink

Things I Know

Posted by Fraulein

It's comforting to know there are at least a few ironclad certainties in life. (Aside from the obvious ones like death and taxes.) One such immutable fact is that when some grandstanding, faux religious, holier-than-thou, sanctimonious prick of a politician gets caught having an affair, that sanctimonious prick politician will be a Republican.

This highly honorable guy, Tennessee State Sen. Paul Stanley, evidently believes no public funds should go to organizations like Planned Parenthood, since "unmarried people shouldn't have sex." Married guys diddling interns half their age, however--well, that's a different story.

Lest anyone pipes up to ask me how this is different than Bill Clinton's little intern problem--well, you never saw Clinton getting on his high horse demanding the unmarried stay celibate, did you? And if I were in the mood for a little wager, I'd be willing to bet that Sen. Stanley had plenty to say about Bill Clinton's foibles back in the day. Just like all the other GOP horndogs. Remember Henry Hyde? Newt Gingrich? Classy guys all.

John Edwards Affair Redux - IOKIYAR

Can you believe these hypocritical motherfuckers? Sean Hannity has to be the biggest Republican ass kisser of them all. You'd think these imbeciles would have a working brain cell in their combined heads to figure out that if your Republican nominee for president has admitted to cheating on his first wife, then you might want to rethink your criticism of the Democrat who ran and lost the nomination of the same offense. It's just another case of It's O.K. If You Are Republican.

Hannity: "I’m not getting this. Explain to me and I’m wondering if you can’t keep the promise to your family, can’t keep your promise to your wife, you’re having an affair, you’re lying about the affair repeatedly, why should the American people trust you when you say you’re not going to lie to them? Why should we trust you?"

Luckily, Alan Colmes gives the GOP talking heads a slap-in-the-face wake up call in reminding them that their Republican nominee is guilty of the same fucking thing!

Colmes: "And by the way, that’s a great question Sean asks and so Amanda, if that’s true and you can’t trust somebody who had an affair. How can we trust John McCain to be President of the United States—he cheated on by his own admission on his first wife, he didn’t keep his martial vows, he didn’t keep his pledge to his first family…"

How can Hannity defend this?! And yet he tries. This idiot thinks that if you've spent time in a POW camp and if it was such a long time ago, that it's okay. I didn't know there was a moral statute of limitations on infidelity.

Hannity: "Thirty years ago after five and a half years of being a POW! ...He was in a prisoner of war camp! [He cheated on his wife] after five and a half years in prisoner of war camp!"

Lord, what fools these Republicans be!


(The fun starts at about the 3 minute mark.)



On the bright side, the distraction of discussing a person who cheated on his spouse and ISN'T running for president is better than an hour long show calling the presumptive Democratic nominee a secret Manchurian candidate jihadist.

(H/T C&L)

The Almost Daily Giuliani Report

Scandal Du Jour

In the fall of 2001, city cops chauffeured Rudy Giuliani's then-mistress, Judith Nathan, to her parents' Pennsylvania home 130 miles away on the taxpayers' dime. Records show that city cops refueled at an ExxonMobil station down the road from Nathan's childhood home in Hazleton on Oct. 20, 2001, while Giuliani stayed behind in New York attending 9/11 funerals. ...

...records show that - in addition to using City Hall funds to take Giuliani and Nathan to 11 secret trysts in the Hamptons, as has been previously reported - taxpayers were paying to ferry Nathan on long-distance trips without Giuliani, now a Republican contender for President.

..."At what point do we acknowledge that this was just a cheap political hit and that the premise of the original story has been proven false?" said Giuliani adviser Anthony Carbonetti.

Uh, I don't know, Tony, maybe when you CAN actually prove that there was no intent to cover it up?

Besides the fact that if this were a Democratic presidential candidate, he or she would've been ousted from the race months ago (if they ever had a chance to run in the first place), bidding farewell in a teary-eyed press conference surrounded by family and a forgiving spouse. Do you doubt it? Think about Gary Hart and Monkey Business... hell, Clinton was impeached for lying about an affair. Who wouldn't under those circumstances?

But once again, this is just another example of the pseudo-ethical "do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do" Republicans and the hypocrisy that has penetrated the GOP to their very bowels (pun intended).