Monday, January 19, 2009

The Cheney Wheelchair Coverup

Okay, so the official story seems to be that Dick Cheney hurt his back while moving some boxes into his new home and therefore will be sitting in a wheelchair for tomorrow's historic inauguration, to which I say, "C'MON!"

It's a coverup. There is no way I will ever believe that Cheney was moving his own shit. Doesn't he have help for that? The only thing he probably moved himself were the incriminating documents he was taking to the shredder. Here are my theories:

1 - He can't bring himself to stand in honor of the new President, and this is his cheap excuse to remain seated.

2 - No longer having special privileges in the transportation department after noon tomorrow, he's going to play this up to finagle a handicapped parking permit.

3 - He really does care about his pathetic approval ratings and is hoping for some final "Pity Factor" bump.

My inital reaction to hearing this news was, "I'd rather see him in a casket, but this is a start" until a relative reminded me that he sleeps in a casket every night.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes. I agree very suspicious. Perhaps concealing a weapon even.

Anonymous said...

My first thought was that he's been in a wheelchair for awhile and they've been hiding it from us for as long as possible. I wonder when his last public appearance was where anyone saw him standing.

Anonymous said...

I smell Rove. Maybe they think war criminal prosecution is less likely if the last public image of him is old and frail.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'd sorry about Rove, too (not that we have to any more!), but being old and frail didn't prevent Pinochet from facing war crimes charges--so here's hoping...

Mike Licht said...

How did Dick Cheney really hurt his back?

See http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/cheney-on-wheels/

Anonymous said...

Yeah and I've never heard of a wheelchair for a hurt back. I've had herniated disks and strained muscles, and sitting usually made the pain worse.
Now that Cheney is finally gone though, we have to worry about Obama betraying everyone with his mandatory national service plan, aka draft, and then his plan to create a world government (NWO) and destroy our constitution.

Broadway Carl said...

I didn't know his "call to service" was mandatory. You'll have to provide links on his plans for world domination. ;)

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