Oh, The Humanity!

"It's over. I broke up with him," Bristol Palin tells PEOPLE exclusively of her second try at an engagement to Levi Johnston, father of her 19-month-old son Tripp.

..."The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family," she says. "He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played."

Oh, Bristol... a hunting show? ...In HOLLYWOOD?!  At least we know you take after your mom in the brains department.

And here I was all set to watch the Wasilla Wedding on television, just like Charles and Diana, except with sled dogs instead of horse drawn carriages.  And she couldn't wear white.  And Levi in his hunting jacket plaid tuxedo.  And you know it would have been televised; I doubt that the Palins would have shut out the press the way those snooty, elitist Clintons did. There's no such thing as bad publicity after all.  Speaking of which... whatever happened to that Palin/Alaska reality series? Has than been canned yet?

UPDATE (8/4/10 9:25am): JHW22 makes a great point in the comments:

Bristol has already spoken with People and TMZ and Levi hasn't spoken to anyone. YET she suggests he is the media whore and blames his seeking the limelight as part of the reason for the break-up! She told celebrity mags and he is the media whore? When will that family just stop!?!

Like mother like daughter?

Make. It. STOP!

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin are already looking to bring outsiders into their upcoming marriage -- in the form of a reality TV crew ... this according to a source very familiar with the negotiations.

TMZ has learned the couple has been shopping "multiple reality shows" around town -- some of the ideas involve the couple AND their two-year-old son, Tripp.

We're told the leading concept involves all three people -- and will focus on "parenting issues."

Nothing to see here folks. Just another white trash attempt at financial opportunity, you know, because America is the land of opportunity... unless you're "colored." If I hear Mama Grizzly talk about how the "lamestream media" should leave her cub pack alone, I'm going to put a bullet in my brain.

So... show titles, anyone?

The Wasilla Hillbillies?
Wasilla 99654?
Northern Overexposure?

Oops...

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are engaged, and they've shared the news on the cover of Us Weekly, seen below. They have not shared the news with Bristol's mom Sarah Palin, who has mocked Levi as "Ricky Hollywood" and poked at his "aspiring porn" career.

Bristol tell the glossy, "It is intimidating and scary just to think about what her reaction is going to be. Hopefully she will jump on board."

Uh... I don't know if Mama Grizzly is going to be so pleased. And all I can say is... HAAHAHAHAAHAAHAAAAAA!!!

ADDING... There are those who think this is one small step in the Rehabilitation of Sarah Palin's Image for an eventual run in 2012. I don't necessarily doubt that, but one has to be a complete moron not to see right through it. How can Sarah be happy for her daughter if she's completely trashed Bristol's future husband in the public eye nonstop? But then again, judging by Sarah's following, there are plenty of morons out there to be had.

Today's News

In my continuing effort to get my apartment ready to put on the market, I've completely neglected the blog today. I managed to get a couple of Tweets in (follow me!) during the installation of a medicine cabinet, bathroom lighting fixture and a pantry door.

So here's my version of today's news:

Judge Sotomayor's hearing in finally underway. And along the way Senators Sessions and Kyl show how bitchy they are to the world. Senator Hatch also gave us his whiny, wimpy side (as if he has any other) during Hardball. It was nice to see Senator Al Franken in his first Committee hearing as was the last to speak being the most junior senator. Speaking of seniority, the penultimate speaker at the hearing? Alren Specter. ...Heh.

Dick Cheney, in his latest impression of Dr. Evil, is exposed for ordering the CIA to withhold information from Congress for eight years! That would be his whole time in office as Vice President. Hmm... would that mean that Nancy Pelosi wasn't entirely incorrect when she was vilified a few weeks ago for claiming that she was lied to by the CIA? Still waiting on one of those creeps, namely John Boehner to apologize to Pelosi.

The future ex son-in-law of Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston continues his media tour and suggests Palin quit because she couldn't hack it. She couldn't take the pressure. Take it with a grain of salt considering the source, but you have to wonder about someone who quits because, according to her, she was tired of the attacks. And yet, the GOP and 7 in 10 Republicans would vote for her in 2012.

Another Possible Motivation for Palin

Posted by Fraulein

This weekend I felt as confused by Sarah Palin's rambling press conference as everyone else, but now I think I have a theory about what she's really up to. I agree with Carl that it's possible she simply wants to clear the decks and prepare for a 2012 Presidential run. However, I still think that at some point, as dumb as the leading "thinkers" in the GOP are, these people have to accept that it would be suicide for the party if Palin were to emerge as the front runner. I mean, we can't possibly get that lucky, can we? To have this blithering doofus at the top of the ticket, when she doomed McCain as their Vice Presidential candidate? The Republican base for whatever incomprehensible reason just loves this woman. The rest of the country, not so much.

So here's my alternative theory: it's all about the money. Specifically, money from speeches and a book tour.

Palin herself, although seemingly untroubled by any complicated thought process, still must have at least some dim understanding that a Presidential bid would be doomed from the start. She did like getting to shop for all those expensive clothes though. She loved having the cameras on her, and hearing the cheers of the adoring GOP faithful. What better way to milk what remains of her 15 minutes of fame than "writing" a "book" about her experiences on the campaign trail and giving speeches at fringe right-wing wacko gatherings for some obscene fee? That way she gets to remain "famous," which I think is what she liked the most about the whole campaign anyway, make a shitload of cash, and walk away laughing.

What do you all think -- any other theories?

_____________________________

EDITOR'S NOTE: While my original instinct was that Palin flew the coop to prepare for higher aspirations, I want to make it clear if I haven't before that I think it's the stupidest move she could have made.

Along with most other analyses, I agree that not running for re-election but also flat out quitting her job makes her look like she couldn't hack it. Whether that is true or not is irrelevant. She failed to fulfill one full term in office as Governor of the 4th least populated state while receiving the most federal aid of any state. This further diminishes what little she had on her resumé to begin with. Her penchant for hashing out private matters in the tabloids (see Johnston, Levi) or using the power of her office for intimidation (see Gate, Trooper) makes her seem power hungry and unstable.

And here's the kicker. If Bill Kristol thinks it's a good move, you know it's wrong.

- Broadway Carl

There Goes The Neighborhood

Picture the really annoying family that lives on the block that ruins what would otherwise be a fun neighborhood to live in. You know the ones. Everyone has those types of neighbors driving down property values. They are the reason, "There goes the neighborhood" became a catchphrase. They have regular shouting matches in the driveway. They leave garbage in their backyard after a barbecue that attracts rodents which soon infest your own yard. They have the police pulling up to their house once every couple of weeks in the middle of the night to settle a domestic dispute. You don't want your children playing with their children for fear of them being a bad influence on your kids, be it disrespect... or drugs... or lice. Or scabies.

Meet the Palins. The Wasilla Hillbillies. There goes the neighborhood.

This past week, Late Night host David Letterman made a couple of crude jokes at the expense of the Palins. Specifically the joke in question was, "Sarah Palin went to a Yankees game yesterday. There was one awkward moment. During the 7th inning stretch, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodgriguez."

In response, Todd Palin released a statement: “Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too.”

Raping my 14-year-old daughter? A bit over the top, eh Todd?

Letterman discussed the whole situation at length in what I view as a half-hearted apology. I say half-hearted because the Palins made the joke something which it wasn't, and although he called the jokes "ugly," Letterman wasn't so much apologizing as explaining the truth of the matter. 14-year-old Willow Palin was not the subject of the joke. Something the Palins seem to skirt around.



They could have taken the high road, accepted the apology and left it alone. But no, they decided to make this an issue that it wasn't about, while insinuating that Letterman can't be trusted with underage girls. It's pathetic. The Palins' continuation of this fiasco with their idiotic press releases and Sarah Palin's appearance on the Today Show further exemplifies the opportunists that they are.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Enough of the feigned outrage. Anyone who has any sense of humor at all knows that this joke, although in poor taste, was not meant for Willow. Did everyone forget about Bristol Palin? Apparently her own mother, Sarah Palin did.

"I would say that you and anybody else are extremely naive to believe that very convenient excuse of David Letterman's the other day - it took a couple of days for him to think of that excuse that - uh, no he wasn't talking about my daughter who was there with me at the game, the 14-year-old, he was talking about some other daughter. Well I think it's a weak excuse."

Yes, Sarah, the "other daughter." Remember the one named Bristol that you exploited during your campaign? Bristol, your "other daughter" that actually did get "knocked up" and is now laughably pushed out into the spotlight as an advocate for ABSTINENCE?! Your "other daughter," Bristol, that you were forcing to marry off to Levi Johnston and trotted them out as Margaret Carlson said, "like the Charles and Diana of the Klondike" until you lost the election. Where's Levi now? Discarded. Conveniently out of the family portrait.

And not that it matters but guess what? Not everyone knows exactly who attended the Yankees game despite the fact that Sarah Palin thinks we await her every move with bated breath. When I heard the joke, it was obvious that the daughter inferred was Bristol, the knocked up abstinence advocate, and that the real butt of the joke was Alex Rodriguez.

Sarah and Todd Palin are the ones who interjected 14-year-old Willow into this faux controversy, not Letterman. Why? Because they can't stand being ignored. During the campaign they felt the national spotlight, and it was good, and now they need the national spotlight, even though under that bright light, every ugly deed and deceitful lie uttered is more easily revealed for all to see than when sitting in seclusion in Alaska.

Is this the future of the Republican Party? Sarah Palin in 2012, with her run-on sentence rants and her penchant for playing Hatfield/McCoy on the national stage? I'm guessing the Democratic National Committee is dreaming of it. I actually think that her act will get old and tired pretty fast and that she'll burn herself out by then. At least I hope so, because if I have to listen to her jibberish for three more years, I'm going to contemplate putting a bullet in my brain.

First Brad and Jennifer, Now This!

USA Today: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teen daughter Bristol, whose pregnancy out of wedlock caused a minor brouhaha during the 2008 presidential election campaign, has broken up with the baby's father, People.com and Star magazine's website reported Wednesday.
Bristol Palin previously said she expected to marry Levi Johnston once they were finished with high school. Their baby son, Tripp, was born two months ago.

Oh, the horror...

Pallin' Around With Drug Dealers - UPDATED

It seems Bristol Palin is marrying into a family whose future* mother in law is a cyrstal meth drug dealer.

The mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla teenager who is the father of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter's unborn child, was arrested Thursday on drug charges.

The Anchorage Daily News reported Friday that Sherry L. Johnston, 42, was arrested by Alaska State Troopers at her Wasilla home and charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

So, using Sarah Palin's guilt by association logic, it seems she's been pallin' around with drug dealers in her hometown of Wasilla, the crystal meth capital of Alaska. And this on the day before Bristol's due date.

If it's a girl, I hope they name her Crystal. I guess it's the thing to do up there considering Levi's mom was named after his grandmother's favorite cooking wine.

(*Levi Johnston and Bristol are still not married.)


UPDATE (10:10pm): Thanks to commenter Chris for bringing this to my attention. It seems that Sherry Johnston's drug arrest is oxycontin related, which means that Rush Limbaugh will most likely vigorously defend her to his death, which in my opinion can't come soon enough. Still doesn't change the fact the Miss Wasilla is pallin' around with drug dealers.