Shameless

Another shameless for-profit "educational" children's video from Mike Huckabee.

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Mike Huckabee's Revisionist History Lesson

[Mike] Huckabee has launched a new educational company called Learn Our History that aims to get kids excited about studying the nation's past.

...The first volume in the series highlights the Reagan era, where the characters experience the 1980 presidential election and President Ronald Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech in Berlin.

The cartoon features some amusing and sometimes alarming retrospective of how things went down. In a clip, the teenagers encounter on the streets of Washington a dark-skinned mugger clad in a "Disco" muscle shirt and armed with a knife, demanding money. Other scenes of violence unfold before Reagan appears like a white knight with a message of hope and optimism.

...You know, because that's exactly how it all went down.



I can't wait for these future installments:

~ Native American Genocide
~ American Slavery
~ Japanese Internment During World War II

...and who can forget:
~ The Iran-Contra Affair

Feeding Frenzy

There's good ol' Mitt Romney taking a leisurely paddle out on the Republican Presidential Nomination Sea on his surfboard. But there are sharks in the water below him and they're confused (as is the case with most GOP sharks) and his silhouette looks like a seal. They go in for the kill. There's blood in the water. Health care blood.

Yesterday, it was the news that Jim DeMint won’t support Mitt Romney unless Romney repudiates RomneyCare.

Now it’s Mike Huckabee’s turn. Speaking on Fox early Friday afternoon, the former Arkansas Governor said that RomneyCare is a “real problem for Mitt Romney” and that the reform plan is Romney’s “Achilles’ heel.”

Huckabee said he was advising Romney to repudiate his health care plan “because it is the model for ObamaCare, and now we have it 50 states, and not one.” Romney, however, is standing by his plan, saying he’s got no apologies for signing it into law despite its similarities to President Obama’s health care reform plan.

Presidential Material

For the last few weeks, the talking heads have been wondering where the viable Republican presidential nominees were and why they were waiting so long to announce their decision to run. At this same point 4 years ago, I believe there were somewhere in the neighborhood of ten GOP candidates. But let's face facts: despite the constant fear mongering, the constant barrage of insults, misinformation and accusations of being "the other"; despite a slow economic recovery and public sector jobs putting a drag on the unemployment rate, President Obama's approval rating has been hovering around the 50% mark. At this point in the timeline of his presidency, even St. Ronnie's approval numbers weren't any better and in fact had dipped below 40% within his first two years, a number to which Obama hasn't even come close.

The reason no one has come out and officially announced their intention to run even though some are going through the motions in Iowa, New Hampshire and North Carolina, is because they are scared - they know there's very little chance to beat President Obama, so why bother throwing your hat into the ring of a losing cause? While there may be some lackluster but legitimate candidates that can make it interesting, maybe a Jon Huntsman, a Mitch Daniels or even a Mitt Romney, the rest of the names being tossed about are a Who's Who of Clown Car passengers.

Newt Gingrich self-immolated with his Christian Broadcast Network confession that his extramarital affairs during his first and second marriages were a condition of hard work and patriotism. Rick Santorum still believes that WMD were found in Iraq and touts government staying out of your life, unless there's a brain dead person involved. Mike Huckabee has started with a real bang in the radio circuit with his Obama/Kenya/Mau-Mau snafu and then tried to cover it up by saying he misspoke, citing information in his book. Information that doesn't exist. Sarah Palin is... well, she's Sarah Palin. But the rampant stupidity of Michele Bachmann is really an amazing thing to watch.

Not only has she hooked her wagon to the Tea Party and actually started a Tea Party caucus in Congress, but there isn't a day that goes by where she doesn't cause you to spit up your coffee with the crap that comes out of her mouth. It's not just an occasional gaffe here and there. This woman puts Joe Biden to shame in the Foot-in-Mouth Department.

Take for instance Bachmann voicing her inner Joe McCarthy and suggesting looking "at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?" Or her penchant to call President Obama's views anti-American. How about claiming that the founding fathers worked tirelessly (including John Quincy Adams, who wasn't a founding father) until slavery was abolished in the United States. But this latest one is a beauty.

Wanting to impress the Live Free or Die people of New Hampshire, she said, "What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love for liberty. You're the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord." Uh... that would be Massachusetts, dumbass.

Of course, instead of just raising her hand and saying, "Oops" she resorted to, shall we say, less than presidential demeanor on the latest choice of political idiots, Facebook:

So I misplaced the battles Concord and Lexington by saying they were in New Hampshire. It was my mistake, Massachusetts is where they happened. New Hampshire is where they are still proud of it!

And by the way... That will be the last time I borrow President Obama's tele-promoter!

GASP! She was using a teleprompter?! Isn't that the tool of the devil? Why can't she scribble on her hand like the others? So MENSA member Michele Bachmann tries to cover up one of her daily mistakes by taking a swipe at arguably one of the smartest men in whatever room he happens to enter. But hasn't that become the default position for the GOP? Sit on Fox News and laugh at the President and belittle his intelligence, and soon enough the yahoos will believe it.

As Bob Cesca states...

...I'd love to see Bachmann or Palin or any of these hooples challenge the president to a head-to-head round of common knowledge questions. Hell, the president could be the smartest man on Earth -- he could have solved the mysteries of the universe and defeated that computer on Jeopardy, while simultaneously defeating that other chess-playing computer -- blindfolded -- and these idiots would still be accusing him of somehow being a marble-mouthed ignoramus. Remarkable.

Exactly. But of course if ever a contest or debate were to take place, the expectations bar would be set so low, it would be spun as a win for the idiot just because she didn't manage to vomit on herself.

Stop Digging, Huckabee

Former Governor, possible Republican Presidential nominee contender and recent Birther red meat thrower, Mike Huckabee has gotten into some hot water for remarks he made on a conservative radio show in which he said President Obama was born in Kenya, and threw in a couple of Mau-Mau Revolution references to sweeten the pot.

First he said he simply misspoke. Well, I don't remember anything about a Mau-Mau uprising in Indonesia. Then he said "if I'd read from my own text, page 183 of my book, I clearly said he grew up in Indonesia." Nice cross reference to plug his book, huh? There's only one problem: there's no mention of Indonesia on page 183. In fact, there's no mention of Indonesia on any of the pages of his book. It's Indonesia free.

In trying to re-re-re-explain himself on the intrepid O'Reilly Factor, Huckabee then said this:

"My point even talking about him being raised in a different country, actually in Indonesia and not Kenya as I do understand. Again, it's right there in the book for me to read and everybody else, if they care to, but the point that I do want to make is that that creates a different world view. This is not a kid who grew up going to boy scout meetings and playing little league baseball in a small town."

Two things: One, in defending Obama against the birthers, he again reiterates how "different" he is and two, Huckabee is WRONG AGAIN when he says he was "raised in Indonesia."

Barack Obama was in Indonesia from the ages of 6 through 10 before moving back to Hawaii, a US state if I recall correctly. Is that an impressionable age when it comes to subjects like British imperialism in a country you were never in? I don't know about you, but from the ages of 6 through 10, I was more worried about not striking out playing stickball than about Watergate or Nixon's resignation, something that would have made me see at a young age to what depths Republicans would sink to win elections.

Mike, a little advice: Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

ADDING... Perfect.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
On Notice/Dead to Me - Mike Huckabee
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Actual Journalism... By a Comedian

ADDING... I love that Stewart called out guest Mike Huckabee on his bullshit when he at first tried to say that the Democrats shouldn't have added this legislation in with another bill (they didn't - it's a stand-alone bill) and then tried to sell the idea that the Democrats were politicizing the bill (they didn't - although they should have by pointing out that the G-9/11-O-9/11-P co-opts September 11th any chance they get). Watch the Huckabee interview here.

Values Voters: Mike Pence?

A straw vote suggests that social conservatives favor Indiana Rep. Mike Pence to head a Republican presidential ticket...

Everyone's favorite Mama Grizzly came in dead last with 7% of the vote. Even Newt Gingrich beat her with his anti-colonialism, birther crap. She also came in second in the VP straw poll, also losing to Pence. So what they're saying is they like her polarizing style, but don't trust her in the Oval Office.

Mitt Romney came in third with 13% behind Mike "Screw Your Pre-existing Condition" Huckabee.

Cartoon of the Day

Why Jon Stewart Rocks

Mike Huckabee was on the Daily Show pushing his new book, "Do The Right Thing" (apparently no longer just a Spike Lee joint) and Jon Stewart calls him out on his "Do unto others..." hypocrisy regarding the issue of gay marriage. Awesome.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Huckabee Wins Kansas

Mike Huckabee is the winner of the first state to report results today: Kansas.

Don’t expect results to come quite so easily in neighboring Nebraska, where the Democrats are trying to caucus. The Omaha World-Herald’s liveblog details overcrowded sites, with some caucuses being moved to parking lots and other sites running out of registration forms.

Great Schmuckabee quote: "Am I quitting? Let's get this settled right now. No, I am not... Folks, I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles and I still believe in miracles." That's great, Mike. We already have someone in the Oval Office who says he can hear Jeebus and can't count to 20 unless his shoes are off. Thanks for the reminder.

Huckabee On Colbert - Updated!

I just watched Mike Huckabee on the Colbert Report playing air hockey with Stephen Colbert using a Texas-shaped air hockey puck. What the fuck? I shouldn't eat so late.

Hopefully, video to follow.

UPDATE: Video!

The GOP Florida Debate

Got home from work and prepared myself to watch the GOP Debate (I TiVo-ed it). So there I sat with my bottle of Tums and a waste paper basket next to me just in case.

Looks like Rudy "3% in the Primaries" Giuliani is front and center as I predicted he would be. At least MSNBC and the MSM plays fair and square in deciding who is to participate in these debates according to viability. I was wrong in my prediction that Ron Paul would be on the end podium.

• Let's see... McCain wants to make the Bush tax cuts permanent because people who are trying to figure out their budgets in 2010(?!) need to know sooner than later. I wonder if he knows that many Americans out there live paycheck to paycheck. He's worried about pork barrel spending and bridges to nowhere but doesn't mention the $11 BILLION we spend in Iraq. Each. Month.
  
  
• Giuliani... there's that vomit feeling in the back of my throat - also wants major tax cuts for... wait for it... CORPORATIONS AND CAPITAL GAINS.
  
  
• Huckabee: $150 billion stimulus package will be borrowed from China to buy Chinese products. Fix the infrastructure to fix the economy. The Huckster makes sense. He must have heard John Edwards say the same thing last week.
  
  
• Mitt Romney also favors the tax cuts because according to him, that's what got our economy going the last time. According to me, that's what got us in trouble in the first place.
  
  
• McCain: GOP lost the 2006 election because of their lack of restraint in spending. Silly me, I thought it was about the war.
  
  
• Hey! Ron Paul was finally acknowledged by being asked a question 17 minutes into the debate.
  
  
• Giuliani won't take blood money from a Saudi prince, but same prince can bail out the troubled US banks. Nothing like free trade, huh, Rudy? Actual Rudy quote: "How much can we sell to the rest of the world?" Well, products? I'm all for it. But selling our debt?
  
  
• McCain claims that even though the GOP fucked up the economy over the last 7 years, America should vote for a Republican because you can't trust the Democrats when it comes to spending. Pass the Tums, please.
  
  
• Actually Romney quote: " When Republicans act like Democrats, America loses." He says this regarding our economy after the GOP and Bush has sucked the treasury dry. Russert also prefaced the question by saying when Bush took office, we had a surplus, lower unemployment, lower inflation, and lower gas prices.
  
  
• McCain dismisses a question asking how we're supposed to stay in Iraq indefinitely (as he has suggested) with a broken military and the impossibility of keeping it up financially by stating that the military isn't broken and that we are winning in Iraq. Then takes a swipe at Hillary Clinton who would "raise the white flag of surrender." Romney jumps in on the Clinton bashing.
  
  
• Q: Was the war in Iraq a good idea and worth the blood and treasure?
  McCain: Good idea at the end of the day; badly managed.
  Rudy: Hillary was in favor of it; "I'm for it"; Islamic terrorist war -Boo!
  Ron Paul: Bad idea, not worth the sacrifice and treasure; Al-Qaeda wasn't there before, but NOW they are; no WMD. (Applause during his answer.)
  Huck: We owe George W. Bush our thanks. Just because we didn't find WMD doesn't mean they weren't there.
  Mitt: The surge is working. I'm for the war and will always be for the war.

I can't take it anymore. Taking some Advil for my headache, Tums for my stomach and going to bed. I'll most likely have nightmares about one of these chumps in the Oval Office. Now that's one scary-ass nightmare.

Maybe I'll watch the rest tomorrow... but it's highly unlikely as I value my health and sanity.

Huckabee: No Bestiality In My America!

That's right. You don't have to worry about the definition of marriage with good ol' Mike Huckabee. In response to a question regarding adapting biblical laws into the Constitution, Schmuckabee said this:

Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again. I think the radical position is to make a change in what’s been historic.

That's right, goddammit! 'Cause everyone knows that if we define homosexual marriage legal, the next logical step is bigamy, pederasty and bestiality. I can't wait for them to pass that bestiality law. I've had my eye on this chicken for quite some time now, and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. She's a hot little chicken.

How is a Christian fundamentalist freak like Huckabee a viable candidate for leader of the free world? Oh, and by the way, nice little dig at Mitt Romney and the old Mormon teachings by throwing "a man and three women" in there. You're good, Huckabee... you're gooood. Sly fox... Hmmm... foxes...

David Brooks: Republicans Fall Looks Dim

I can't believe I'm quoting David brooks here (I can't stand to read his crap most of the time) but at least he was honest in this assessment:

...the Republican prospects in the fall just got even dimmer. I say this not only because a weak general election candidate won a primary, but because Mitt Romney’s win pretty much guarantees a bitter fight for the nomination. If you doubt that, here is what Rush Limbaugh said about McCain and Huckabee on his program today: “I’m here to tell you, if either of these two guys get the nomination, it’s going to destroy the Republican Party, it’s going to change it forever, be the end of it.” This week, Rush and his radio mimics have been on the rampage on the party’s modernizers, from Newt Gingrich on over.

This thing will only get uglier.

Even Limbaugh is this forlorn?! It's says something about the incredibly weak candidtates on the GOP side that the pundits and wingnuts are starting to eat each other.

Schmuckabee and God's Laws

"[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards."

Did Mike Huckabee just disqualify himself from consideration for the office of President of the United States? The Presidential oath states, "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." Nowhere in that sentence does it say, " ...and I swear to amend it if it doesn't fit my religious beliefs."

But there he was in all his glory, Huckabee "preaching" in front of knuckle dragging, mouth breathers in Michigan of all places, who were cheering his statement that he would amend the Constitution to conform to "God's standards" rather than "preserve, protect and defend" it.

I can almost understand it if Huckabee was stumping this type of speech in his home state of Arkansas, or in Alabama or South Carolina. Actually, fuck that! I won't even make an excuse for it.

Mike Huckabee is also in favor of HR 536. If you haven't read this little gem of a bill, it attempts to define human life at the point of fertilization and would outlaw all forms of birth control.

But let Dr. Robert Hatcher, professor of gynecology and obstetrics at Emory University School of Medicine, explain it.

I am concerned about the impending visit of former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee on Jan. 22, the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court ruling legalizing abortion. He is here to encourage the passage of House Resolution 536, supported by Georgia Right to Life.

Most Georgians are unaware of the full implications of HR 536, which designates personhood in the state of Georgia beginning at fertilization and continuing to natural death. The intention is to ban legal abortion in Georgia. Additionally, defining personhood as starting at fertilization is contrary to the medical definition of pregnancy by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which is at implantation — when the embryo adheres to the wall of the uterus.

HR 536 would impact all hormonal methods of birth control, including birth control pills, the patch, the Nuva-Ring, injections like Depo-Provera and both currently available IUDs. It could even prevent the use of some forms of assisted reproductive technology and cast a shadow on the reporting of miscarriages.

Huckabee is coming to Georgia to highlight his support of legislation that could prevent public health facilities in Georgia from providing the contraceptives that 95 percent of women use at some time in their lives. Is this what anyone in the United States would want to see happen?

When did the United States become a fundamentalist country? If this is the direction that we are headed in, I'd better bone up on my Canadian history so I can pass their citizenship test. It doesn't matter what religion you are. As my friend Armadillo Joe and I were ranting today, he said,"A fundamentalist is a fundamentalist is a fundamentalist." If this is the road Huckabee is taking, then he isn't running for President, he's running for Ayatollah of the United States.

Iowa Chooses Obama And Huckabee

The country, or at least Iowa, wants change. Barack Obama took the Iowa Caucuses handily with 38% of the vote.

Here's the breakdown:

Obama 38%
Edwards 30%
Clinton 29%
Richardson 2%
Biden 1%
Dodd 0%
Gravel 0%
Kucinich 0%

Soon after, Biden, Dodd and Gravel have all announced that they were dropping out of the race.

Obama: “They said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided, too disillusioned, to come together over a common purpose. You have done what the cynics said you couldn’t do. You have done what the state of New Hampshire can do in five days. You have done what America can do in this new year, 2008. We are one nation, we are one people, and the time for change has come.”

Edwards: “The one thing that’s clear with the results in Iowa tonight is the status quo lost and change won.”

Clinton: “We are going to have change, and that change is going to be a Democratic president in the White House in 2009.”

Clinton's quote was a response to the overwhelming numbers of registered Democratic voters that came out. MSNBC was just reporting 236,000+ voters (80% Dems) and counting turned out for the Democratic Caucus; over 100,000 more than in 2004 and more than twice the amount that came out to vote for Republicans.

On the Republican side, Huckabee easily kicked Romney in the magic underpants. Here's how it breaks down on the GOP side with 86% of the precincts reporting as of this writing:

Schmuckabee 34%
HAL-9000 26%
Frederick of Hollywood 13%
Maverick McStraight Talk 13%
Ron "Read My Lips, No Taxes Period" Paul 10%
Ghouliani 4%
Duncan "Why Am I Still Running?" Hunter 0%

Huckabee: "A new day is needed in American politics, just like a new day is needed in American government... It starts here, but it doesn't end here. It goes all the way through the other states and ends at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

I do kid, but it really is an historic moment when you stop and think that Democrats in Iowa, with a population that is 97% caucasian, voted for a man of color as their choice to lead the country. Talk about an about face for the staus quo!

Could this really be the start of something big? The turning of the page? Who knows what is going to happen in the weeks and months to come and how this will all play out?

As Arianna Huffington wrote: "...this moment may not last. But, for tonight, I am going to savor it -- and cross my fingers that it may stand as the day that fear as a winning political tactic died. Killed by an "unlikely" candidate -- as Obama called himself again and again -- who seized the moment, and reminded America of its youth and the optimism it longs to recapture. "

UPDATE: Gravel Still In The Race

Commenter Dan brought this to my attention:

MSNBC pundit Keith Olbermann has incorrectly declared that Sen. Gravel has dropped out of the race following the January third caucus in Iowa. This is not true, and Sen. Gravel is still an active member in this race. We are requesting that MSNBC and Keith Olbermann retract their statement, and issue an apology to the campaign for promoting blatantly false misinformation.

Again, Sen. Gravel has not dissolved his campaign, and has no intentions of doing so.

I would expect a retraction if this is true and according to the Gravel website, it is. But the language is a little harsh, don't you think? "Promoting blatantly false MISinformation?" I'll let that one slide. It's not like Olbermann is the tool of the Republican devil, and with all due respect to Sen. Gravel, it's been over for him for a while now.

Schmuckabee Crosses Picket Line

What a man of the people. Mike Huckabee is going on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. You remember Leno... the guy who picketed with his writers for about a day and a half, then decided to start his show this year without them. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, is appearing on Late Night with David Letterman. Letterman worked out his own contract with the writers.

In the meantime, Schmuckabee said he was unaware that he would be crossing a picket line and believed that the program had reached a special agreement with the union.

...On Wednesday, he said he identified with the striking television workers as an author himself and believed they deserved a share of the proceeds from the sale of their work.

Mr. Huckabee’s lack of knowledge about the picket lines outside the Leno show are the latest in a string of missteps that have underscored the ad hoc nature of his campaign. Last week, he made a series of small misstatements about Pakistan that raised questions about his fluency with foreign affairs and raised eyebrows by suggesting that the situation in Pakistan could lead to special scrutiny of Pakistanis at the borders in the interest of national security.

And let's not forget the NIE report regarding Iran's lack of nuclear weapons of which Jeebus Schmuckabee© had no clue 24 hours after the fact. What an ass.

(I know it's past midnight, but) T minus 384 Days: "I believe we are called to do the hard work to make our communities and quality of life a better place." - Collinsville, IL, January 2005

Note To Rudy: I Want My Fruitcake!

Not to be outdone by Mike Huckabee and his spine chilling Christmas/Jeebus commercial, Giuliani does one of his own.

It's horrible. Not only does Rudy misread my Christmas list (I have no "sthrict contherative judgeth" on it), but he comes off like an idiot trying to parody Huckabee's message without enough parody.

Even Joe Scarborough flips out! And this guy wants to be President of the United States. He couldn't even be my latex salesman.

Mike Huckabee Parody

This is a great parody commercial on Huckabee! Enjoy.

Holy Huckabee!

How is it possible that EVERYONE, including us plebians and groundlings, knew what the latest National Intelligence Estimate... that thing we call the NIE (see how that works?; cute little acronyms for long ass phrases), said regarding Iran's nuclear capability - or lack of it - and a Republican presidential candidate didn't know about it?

Kuhn: I don’t know to what extent you have been briefed or been able to take a look at the NIE report that came out yesterday ...

Huckabee: I’m sorry?

Kuhn: The NIE report, the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. Have you been briefed or been able to take a look at it —

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn: Have you heard of the finding?

Huckabee: No.

What the hell?!... It boggles the mind. Thanks for playing, Mike. Please leave your resumé and your endorsement at the door.