Hasselbeck Said What Now?

I saw this headline in passing and didn't think twice about it...

Hasselbeck supports gay marriage, calls Obama a ‘cool guy’

... but a friend of mine brought it to my attention hoping I would comment on it and saying it needed my "wry sense of realism."

So here I am thinking, hell, what with a new baby, my wifey returning to work this week after her maternity leave, my softball team winning the league championship this season (yours truly manning 1st base and managing), making the familial rounds showing off the new progeny and scraping spare time together to do the occasional handyman jobs necessary to maintain a 90-year old house that we just bought, I guess I need to produce something for the semi-neglected blog. I'm trying not to completely ignore it but's not like I've been burning up the keyboard lately either.

So Hasselbeck.... Hasselbeck... uh, nope. I got nothing.

You see, the thing about The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck is that I really don't give a rat's ass what she has to say, either for or against President Obama, gay marriage, abortion rights or anything else for that matter.

Why should I care that she thinks Obama is a "cool guy" when she campaigned for Sarah Palin? Why should I listen to someone's view on abortion rights after she said the morning after pill is the same thing as "birthing a baby and leaving it out on the street"? Does it matter to me that she needed a "mani-pedi to prepare" for an interview with the leader of the free world instead of preparing by, you know, actually researching facts and statistics?



It doesn't matter. And do you know why?

The woman is a dolt. I mean, her claim to fame is eating bugs on the Survivor reality TV series while her hair fell out for God's sake. So why would I care that she should shift her views as the wind blows?

If one minute she says she thinks the morning after pill is akin to leaving a baby in the street, but also believes the government shouldn't tell a woman what to do with her body, how can you take her seriously? If she says she supports gay marriage but is a Sarah Palin supporter, I would think she is, at the least, confused about her beliefs. So why would I give a shit about her thinking President Obama is "cool"?

You know what would be cool? If we stopped elevating not ready for prime time players like Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the same level of a Barbara Walters simply because she happens to be on the same show.  Even Walters can make casting mistakes.

Who's next? Snooki?

Glenn Beck Is A Coward

So by now, most of us know that Glenn Beck had an appearance on The View and was eviscerated by Barbara Walters and Whoppi Goldberg, not for his usual psychotic rantings, but because he lied about them on his radio show. If you haven't seen this clip, it's a must watch.



So Beck immediately apologizes to Walters and said it was a mischaracterization, then tries to defend himself himself because Whoopi accused him of lying even though they have video, then tries to play it off by saying "didn't you think I knew this was coming?" as if it was a big prank because he was scheduled on his show. He then apologized again by saying he "misspoke" while getting a dig in at Nancy Pelosi edgewise.

Now Beck, away from the View studio and safely hidden away in his rathole, shows his cowardly ways and again attacks Walters and Goldberg when he knows they can't rebut his fabrications. Now he wants a "damn apology."

What a cowardly, thin-skinned, pathetic, whiny, little bitch.

Jesse Ventura Continues His Torture Rant on The View

Elisabeth Hasselbeck continues to defend torture. Ventura sets her straight. She also tries to fudge the facts of KSM giving up all pertinent information after he was waterboarded when the fact is that it was before he was waterboarded.

The interesting part is that she shows she's not stupid. She's overmatched by the facts and Jesse Ventura so she throws the kitchen sink at him including Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton, as if they were the architects of "enhanced interrogation." Ventura never flinches and doesn't get sidetracked.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does - Part the Second

When I compared Palin and Hasselbeck to Lucy and Ethel, I thought I might be exaggerating. Now that I've forced myself to watch Hasselbeck open for Palin, I realize that I wasn't far off. Grab a bottle of Tums™ and watch the hilarity and hijinks.



Who the fuck wrote this opening for her? I was waiting for them to start stuffing chocolate bon-bons down their blouses.

And after the whole idiotic wardrobe kerfuffle, why would they bring it up again? Here's why:

Ensuring that news of the Republican National Committee's sartorial spending spree will remain in the headlines for at least one more news cycle, Sarah Palin on Sunday sounded off on the $150,000 wardrobe that was purchased for her in September, denouncing the report as "ridiculous" and declaring emphatically: "Those clothes, they are not my property."

A senior adviser to John McCain told CNN's Dana Bash that the comments about her wardrobe "were not the remarks we sent to her plane this morning." Palin did not discuss the wardrobe story at her rally in Kissimmee later in the day.

They completely ignored the McCain campaign's wishes to let sleeping dogs lie and not mention the $150,000 Nieman Marcus and Saks shopping spree and inserted it into their stump speech before getting bitchslapped and omitting it later on.

The View starts in 7 minutes. I've never said this before, but I can't wait to tune in and watch the fireworks, although I'm guessing that Behar and Goldberg will treat Hasselbeck with kid gloves for fear of making her cry again.

UPDATE (11:27am):

I was right. Barbara Walters took control of the first segment and they had a calm discussion about Hasselbeck's appearance, including the "accessories" line from her speech.

For those of you who couldn't stomach watching the video above, the line was, "I'm actually personally most impressed by her accessories. You know, like the flag pin that she wears in honor of her son and our military men and women fighting abroad... no they didn't list that accessory and its value in their reports, did they? You know why? Because they know it's priceless." (I just vomited a little in the back of my throat.)

Hasselbeck says she brought up the wardrobe "scandal" because she wanted to diffuse it and end it right then and there. Of course she didn't realize that the story was dying down and she only helped to keep it in the spotlight... which they did for yet another day by featuring it on The View.

Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar were very, shall we say, respectful and insisted that this was an issue not because it was sexist, as Hasselbeck claims, but because this is what people latch on to. Whoopi cited examples of Bill Clinton suits, Nancy Reagan's wardrobe, how people were deriding Hillary Clinton's wardrobe and that she couldn't dress well (which drew a smile from Hasselbeck if you were paying attention) and John Edwards' haircut.

Behar argued the point that Palin could have refused the clothing because of the fact that she is trying to portray herself as the Wal-Mart hockey mom. Walters didn't blame Palin, but the Republican National Committee for the shopping spree and since Palin has too many things to think about, clothes isn't one of them. Fair enough.

Can we drop this non story now? I'd rather concentrate on things like Palin's (and surrogates) touting of an "agreement to build" a $40 billion natural gas pipeline that hasn't been built, hasn't even started construction in fact, and has experts agreeing that it may never get done.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

A few weeks ago, John McCain was on one of the best morning shows in the history of television, The View (they don't call it the Boob Tube for nothin'), and was promptly reamed a new asshole by the likes of Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who I am certain has some kind of "Dorian Gray" portrait hidden somewhere in the depths of the studio basement, asked a pertinent question here and there prefacing it of course, with the fact the she was going to vote for McCain anyway, just like a good little Republican whore.

Now Hasselbeck is joining Miss Wasilla on the campaign trail. The GOP's answer to Thelma and Louise, Elisabeth and Sarah are going to hit Florida running.

“[McCain is] the most unifying figure in the Senate. Barack Obama is so far left,” Hasselbeck said Wednesday. Turning to her co-host, Joy Behar, an Obama supporter, she said: “Do you want some more Barack Obama Kool-Aid, or what?”
Hasselbeck also criticized the media Wednesady for its focus on the money the Republican National Committee spent on Palin’s clothing: “Are you looking into Joe Biden’s supposed botox shots in his forehead?” she said.

I have a confession to make. At one point in my life, I was addicted to Survivor. The only season I watched was the Hasselbeck (Filarski I should say... Elisabeth Filarski) season... and I thought she was a little hottie. Little did I know how amazingly stupid she was and still is. So I'm guessing that Palin and Hasselbeck might look something like this on the campaign trail.



I'm hoping to see some actual bloopers from Mooselini and the female Dorian Gray soon. Maybe they'll have a fashion face off.

Shuster Apologizes But Clinton Threatens MSNBC

Last night, David Shuster made an inappropriate comment while interviewing a couple of analysts regarding Chelsea Clinton's role in her mother's campaign and calling the hosts of The View as well as superdelegates trying to garner support for Hillary Clinton.

SHUSTER: ...there's just something a little bit unseemly to me that Chelsea is out there calling up celebrities saying, "Support my mom." And, apparently, she's also calling these super delegates... doesn't it seem like Chelsea's sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?

Now we all know what he meant by that comment and it was a definitely a slip of the tongue and inappropriate for Shuster to use that particular slang phrase. Had Shuster said Chelsea was "being used" instead of being "pimped out," there would be absolutely no story here. But apparently the public flipped out to the extent that MSNBC has suspended Shuster from all NBC broadcasting except to apologize for the remark, which he has done.

Story over, right? WRONG.

Now the Clinton campaign has threatened not to participate in any MSNBC sponsored debates.

In a conference call with reporters, Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson on Friday excoriated MSNBC's David Shuster for suggesting the Clinton campaign had "pimped out" 27-year old Chelsea by having her place phone calls to celebrities and Democratic Party "superdelegates" on her mother's behalf.

Wolfson called Shuster's comment "beneath contempt" and disgusting.

"I, at this point, can't envision a scenario where we would continue to engage in debates on that network," he added.

I now call "BULLSHIT" on Wolfson. Who the fuck does he think he's kidding? If Hillary Clinton doesn't want to participate in the debates, then fine. We're done with it. They won't participate on MSNBC, but they're ready to debate on Fox News? Are they fucking insane?

Just last week, Clinton was begging for a chance at weekly debates as her funds were running low and the contests would provide free exposure, but now that she's gotten an influx of internet cash after revealing that she has signed a $5 million personal check to keep her campaign going, NOW the campaign is threatening MSNBC? Really?!

You know what, Hil? Go ahead. Shoot yourself in the foot, because that is exactly what you're going to do if you decide to renege on MSNBC. Obama will say no to Fox, and you'll be back at square one, with maybe one debate on CNN. All this after MSNBC has suspended Shuster from any NBC broadcast due to the comments for which he's already apologized.

You've had 18 fucking debates already! I'm sick of hearing "ready to lead on day one," and "35 years of experience," so unless you have a new talking point, I think I've heard your entire schtick multiple times. I don't need to hear it another five times before March 4th. Debate exposure at this point is only going to benefit you, so if you really want to pull the trigger before removing your gun for its holster, be my guest.

Which Came First: The Chicken or JESUS?!

What is wrong with The View? Or I suppose I should ask, what is wrong with the women on The View? ... Wait, let me be even more specific: What the hell is wrong with the stupid women on The View and who the hell is interviewing them for these high paying co-host jobs? Surely, it can't be Barbara Walters, can it?

First we had to deal with Elisabeth Hasselbeck's ridiculousness, and now we have the talented Sherri Shepherd. Ms. Shepherd apparently slept through history classes... for her entire school career. It's bad enough the evolution denier didn't know if the world was flat, but now comes this gem:

Discussing whether Christians were around during Epicurus' time (Epicurus lived from 341-270 B.C.), Sherri chimed in, "[The Greeks] had Christians 'cause they threw them to the lions."

When Whoopi tried to cautiously navigate her through the timeline of basic world events, saying, "I think this might predate that," Sherri responded, "I don't think anything predated Christians." Joy's attempt to explain the Greek-Roman-Christian chronology was futile, as Sherri insisted, "Jesus came first before them." Sherri's argument was all the more powerful due to her convincing "use your finger to write on the table" trick, but she can't fight the facts.

I suppose "B.C." only registers to Shepherd as a Hasselbeck nickname: "Bitch! Chill!"

Did Sherri never hear the term "Before Christ"? Even a religious wingnut knows Adam and Eve were before Christ. Could you imagine the short circuiting in her head if you show her comparisons between Christianity and the Pagan religions that pre-date it? Her teeny, little brain would probably fizzle and pop like a Christmas light.