Uncommitted Voters

I read this today:

With two days to go, only 8 percent of likely voters are uncommitted – either they have not yet chosen a candidate, or their minds could still change. Nearly all of these uncommitted voters say they plan to vote.

Today’s uncommitted voters are mostly white, and more than half are age 45 or older. Just over half are men, and most live in the Midwest and South. Half describe themselves as moderate, and many are not partisan - four in 10 are independents.

In that case I've come to the conclusion that "today's uncommitted voter" is also a fucking moron who couldn't decide if he should have Cocoa Puffs™ or Fruit Loops™ for breakfast. And they go through that hard decision every single day. "Today's uncommitted voter" spends 20 minutes wondering what pair of jeans he's going to wear, the blue pair or the blue pair, even though both pair are the same exact fucking type of jeans. "Today's uncommitted voter" calls himself "independent" because he can't decide on a political party. And judging by the description that "today's uncommitted voters" are white Midwestern/Southerners over the age of 45, I've also come to the conclusion that they are also closet racists who can't stand John McCain but can't bear the thought of voting for Barack Obama because he's a black man. And the only reason that they are still in the closet about their racism is because they can't decide if they should come out.

No ifs, ands or buts about it - if after listening to two years of campaigning, you are still "uncommitted" between

A) a creepy, old guy who brings nothing to the table except that he thinks he is deserving of the highest office in the land because of his status as a POW and who's first real presidential decision was to choose as his running mate a trailer trash whore from Alaska who can't put a sentence together without sounding like a sing-song Romper Room host reject to be one frail heartbeat away from the most powerful position in the world, or -

B) an, intelligent, thoughtful man who knows and understands the problems that we face in this country because he was not born into privilege and can bring people of all stripes together because of his overwhelming message of hope and unity and his ability to extract the best from every single one of us in order to reclaim our position of respect in the world -

- then you probably should sit this one out and let the grown ups decide what's best for the nation. I know that voting is a right, but I also think that it is a privilege, a privilege that shouldn't be taken lightly, and for someone to say they are still "uncommitted" at this point, they must either lying, apathetic, or completely uninformed, misinformed or both and therefore clueless.

So do us all a favor, Mr. and Mrs. Uncommitted, and stay home. Watch the election results from the comfort of your own home as you fret over the decision between ordering pizza or Chinese. Sit there with your mouth agape as the kung pao chicken or pepperoni slice hangs from your lips pondering the next four years with the first African American in the White House. And then sit back and think about how you watched history... instead of participating in it.