Saturday, February 7, 2009

Douchebags of the Week: It's a TIE!

I never thought it would come to this, but there I was thinking about who I would win Blog-O-Mania's Douchebag of the Week honors. And contrary to popular belief, this is a dubious honor.

Being that the recovery bill in the Senate was debated over for days, there were many douchebags to choose from this week, but finally someone emerged from the pack. As I was about to make my selection, I received further news of immense douchebaggery that could not go without notice. So I have decided to call this one a tie between Senator John Thune (R-SD) and Congressman Peter Hoekstra (R-MI).

Senator John Thune wanted to give us an explanation of how much $1 Trillion actually is. Not in a mathematical sense, but in a physical sense. He spent a good two minutes of what was probably a 3 to 5 minute time frame on the floor of the Senate, complete with graphic charts and an easel paid for by you and me, Mr. & Mrs. American Taxpayer, to illustrate his point.

I have another one for Senator Thune. Senator, if the head of the Coalition Provisional Authority were to transport $1 trillion in Lockheed C-130 Hercules Military airlift planes to Iraq in $12 billion shipments, plastic wrapped on pallets, it would take 36,893 planes. If you lined up those planes nose to tail, they would stretch the length of 13,773 football fields. Since Senator Thune likes to use nonsensical illustrations to prove nothing, I thought I'd hand him another.

As if that douchebag weren't enough, we have Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-MI) who thought is was a great idea to Twitter the whereabouts of he and his fellow congressmen during a secret trip to Baghdad, complete with updates every few hours. This is the same Peter Hoekstra who is a ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee, you know, the people who are the gatekeepers of our nation's deepest secrets, those who are protecting us from the evildoers. But publicly divulging information of a clandestine trip to the green zone in an unstable middle eastern country putting himself, his delegation and our state secrets in danger seemed like a hell of an idea.

Senator John Thune and Congressman Peter Hoekstra: Douchebags of the Week!

No comments: