The Future of the Republican Party? ...Seriously?

Circumstances prevented me from watching President Obama's address to joint Congress live last night. I was about an hour behind so I purposely stayed away from the Internets until I watched the full speech for fear of spoilers. As usual, I was not disappointed in another Obama speech full of The Awesomeness™.

Then I waited with trepidation for the Republican Party response from Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, the "rising star" of the GOP and one being touted for a presidential run in 2012. Jindal was on Meet The Press the previous Sunday and although he typically regurgitated Republican talking points, he seemed well put together, able to speak off the cuff and is obviously an intelligent individual. What I witnessed last night however, was a completely different Bobby Jindal. I include the entire speech for those who missed it.





Who is this man and what did they do with Bobby Jindal? Surely, this isn't the rising star with the hopes of the GOP squarely on his shoulders in 2012, is it? ...Really?

His sing-song approach was a little disconcerting - was he trying to sell me a used car recovered from the 9th Ward? I was inadvertently shot back to my youth and half expected Jindal to break into song and take us to the Magic Kingdom where Republicans know what they're talking about, but then I realized there were no hand puppets... at least within camera shot. Or maybe Jindal is a hand puppet...

Then my jaw hit the floor when I heard the following line:

"Today in Washington, some are promising that government will rescue us from the economic storms raging all around us.
Those of us who lived through Hurricane Katrina -- we have our doubts."

Wait... did I hear that right? Was Jindal telling us we can't trust government and using the devastation of Hurricane Katrina and the incompetence of the Bush administration's rescue efforts as a gauge? Was he telling us, by using Hurricane Fucking Katrina as an example, that citizens have to deal with disaster on their own? And in seemingly the next breath, asking us to trust the Republican Party? Government shouldn't be trusted and that is why the GOP is the correct choice for 2010 - we don't give you hope. With us, you know you'll be fucked from the beginning, so there'll be no surprises!

Then he told us a story about Sheriff Harry Lee and the volunteer rescue boat operation, featuring the evil government bureaucrat who insisted on seeing the insurance and registration for the boats before allowing them to rescue New Orleans' drowning victims. I found this story a little hard to believe until I realized that, yeah, maybe it was true - after all, who was running the government back in 2005? After hearing that story, do you think RNC Chairman Michael Steele was staring blankly at his television in a "What the fuck?" haze? Yeah, me neither. He was probably pumping his fist, Arsenio Hall style, and barking up a storm, thinking this speech was "off the hook!"

But this childish, pathetic excuse for a speech turned sour in my book when Jindal insisted on using the latest GOP talking points of an imaginary "'magnetic levitation' line from Las Vegas to Disneyland," categorized as wasteful spending the replacement of the government fleet of cars, which would create manufacturing jobs to produce the energy efficient cars and reduce our oil dependence, and pointed to "$140 million for something called 'volcano monitoring.'" Well, perhaps down by the bayou, volcano monitoring may be thought of as wasteful spending, but I'm sure citizens of Hawaii and Washington state appreciate it. Had the shoe been on the other foot and a GOP led country was blindsided by a volcano eruption that turned a Hawaiian town into a 21st century Pompeii, they could just pull out the Katrina textbook and say, "Well, no one could have anticipated the eruption of the volcano." Not to mention the fact that Jindal was pointing to 0.00018% of the entire plan, the very thing President Obama warned against in his address to the nation's governors as well as during the Fiscal Responsibility Summit.

So this is what we have to deal with in 2012? We've seen what we're going to get with Sarah "Position Flexible Also" Palin. And the latest Michael Steele Foot in Mouth Disease moment regarding civil unions makes me wonder what the GOP was thinking. But for the time being until this all dies down, Bobby Jindal has to take the gumbo. The Republican Party's sad attempt to show that they're inclusionary and exotic with the choices of Palin, Steele and Jindal as a substitute for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and the Oscar winners for Slumdog Millionaire don't mean a thing if their ideology is skewing further right than ever.

Heh. Slumdog Millionaire. Yeah, that's right! I said it.


ADDING... Instant classic!